The elephant in the room

   I go to sleep every night and wake up every morning thankful of this life I've built. I truly mean that. I really try to enjoy every second. Sometimes it's a little harder when we have had to get up every hour in the night but it doesn't take us a half a breath to savor that many couples and people do not have this luxury! We really do make our family moments first.

Here's me in my first postpartum new pair of pants after baby. It took

18 tries to finally find the cut and style for my new to me body after

baby! Totally worth the effort to feel good about my body and be comfortable!

   My post partum experience has been memorable. I cannot say enough how amazing this was starting with the birth of our child at home, being the boss of our birth and our baby's entry into this realm. We savored laying in our bed, I loved not having strangers helping me with my aftercare. My mom was fantastic with cooking food and freezing it in servings and leaving the surprise in our freezer for my husband and older daughter to be able to prepare. The whole experience was exactly as we imagined it could be. It was truly wonderful. *sigh*

   What I wasn't expecting was an abdominal separation that didn't close until  the seven month postpartum....and I had enjoyed bringing three daughters into the world previously. I had a perpetual backache from about the second trimester of pregnancy until our baby turned 13 months old. I FINALLY found relief from a fellow yogi who stars on YouTube. Yoga with Adriene I'm not associated with her in any way besides if I don't feel like stacking my own yoga practice together, I can do yoga with my pooches as she does yoga with hers.
This 20 minute yoga practice for the core is an ass kicker. It truly reached places that only our Finn had enjoyed and savored for nine months. I couldn't even delve into core work until my ab separation was completely healed so I only did this particular workout when I was plenty healthy. After just a few days of this workout, my backache disappeared! Try it and you'll be in awe at the serine work you put in for yourself. I just love not running around like a mad woman to get the results I seek.

A REAL after baby photo

of sagging skin 13 months

postpartum.

   Another thing I wasn't expecting was what loose skin means...yeah yeah I have had stretch marks and had a little loose skin. The term "loose skin" doesn't quite give it justice....Imagine skin that sags, appears lumpy?  and reminds you of a elephant. It catches the craziest shadows. Finn made herself quite the home and my body was more than happy to oblige,  as it should be.  But this leftover skin....holy moly. Preparation H is coming to the rescue ASAP! If you want to know a little secret on how to tighten up loose skin temporarily to get you through a rough patch, the medication in Preparation H hemorrhoid cream or ointment tights skin and dehydrates the area. Always test out a patch to see if you have a skin irritation reaction. If it looks good, slather it on and watch the skin get back to where it's suppose to be for a little while. Your body created life, it served you then and it serves you still. It is a temple to be appreciated and amazed at. Sagging skin firms up over time, don't be hating if it takes longer than someone else. Drink plenty of water and use it as an elixir to cure your ails and keep your system flushed. Be patient :)

Blessings!

Milk...going, going, gone

   Milestones, milestones....our American culture thrives on that. An infant's first few years are jammed packed with milestones for development and everyone is always eye balling to see if things are measuring up. We have lots of milestones happening and one in particular makes me kind of sad....so we flew kites today on this loveliest of spring days.

   My goal with each of my children was to breastfeed for their first year of life. That time frame seemed appropriate for me as their immune system is functioning quite well at that point. Two out of four times I have hit my goal! With my first child, everything had worked itself out and things were going strong until I started getting nauseated with each feeding. Even though I had not yet started my period after  having her, I was pregnant again when she was nine months old. She was weaned ASAP, the vomiting was too much during feeding. It was a horrible time for everyone. With the next little bundle, we were living on a farm. When she was five months old, I ran out to a commotion in the chicken coop only to be sprayed head to toe by a started skunk when I rounded the corner. I tried everything to get the smell off for a few days, but it overwhelmed me and she absolutely could not feed. I ended up having to supplement with formula but the process was enough to disrupt my precious and now skunky smelling milk supply. Our breastfeeding journey was over....and I smelled that wonderful skunk aroma in my nostrils for over a month! The last two daughters took full benefit of the breastfeeding and enjoyed every day of it.

   Lots of people think breastfeeding is easy and you automatically know how this process goes...yeah that's only in the movies....if movies even talk about such things without making it sexual, that is. It's a test of patience, sometimes pain, sometimes frustrations, sometimes joy, sometimes laughter, sometimes confusing, etc. It is a GRAND ADVENTURE in life truly and there is much fulfillment in continuing to provide the nourishment for your greatest achievement (baby) after they are out of the womb. Even though they aren't with you constantly anymore, you have those few moments during the day and night of truly unique bonding and special time. You examine each other's eyes, feel each other's breath, smell each other's smells, skin to skin is comfort, laugh together, sometimes cry together LOL and experience your baby like nobody else in the world gets to. Being a breastfeeding mom is empowering!

   As of yesterday, our journey of serene togetherness and intimate nurturing is over. We have been feeding less and less each day in preparation of these times. She eats very nutritious food and has for a very long time. For over a week we were just doing one feeding in a 24 hour period to prep for no breastfeeding time. The last to go was the feeding right after her bath, directly for bedtime. It was the one you use to calm and send her off to her sweet dreams with, the last bond before your evening shifts of parenting begin. The last feeding before we stretched out in our bed and giggle, discussing the details of the life we've built for ourselves. I love that time of day :)

   Don't get me wrong....we've celebrated this milestone intimately as a couple as well. It's refreshing to not have wet shirts or sheets, not smell of past ripe milk that has spilled somewhere. It's super  nice to have those two things of mine be just purely sexual again! I did miss that life too. Last night, during my favorite time of day, my husband quietly  watched us as we struggled to change up our bedtime routine as I rocked and held her in our dimly lit bedroom. She fell sound asleep after letting out soft whimpers and I placed her in her bed. He held out his arms to me and asked how it was for me. "Awful..." and I collapsed into a heap in his arms .Our favorite time of day was spent in  quiet reflection as he stroked my hair with the occasional honking of body parts with assorted noises. :)

Blessings everyone!

Dancing in the weeds

   For days I've been waiting for my VIDA collection to arrive...every day waiting in anticipation....and yesterday it finally did! My daughter, Summer, and I held a LIVE broadcast of us looking at the artful swag on my Facebook group Crisawesomeness Designs.

Please join it for updates! Lots of times I hand down savings given to me by VIDA on there. We had so much fun, we decided to make a regular habit of it and include my You Tube channel.

      We are planning a runway project with local make up specialists and representatives as well as hair dressers. I really think that's going to be a great networking, fun and creative process for us! Good times lie ahead!  Look for more details of that soon!
   My fall line is being developed and you can look forward to rich tones. In the meantime, enjoy!

Blessings!

Confessions of a parenting rebel

My name is Cris and my husband

and I cosleep with our newborn.

Let's just let that sink in for a moment...we...sleep...in...the...same...bed...as...our...baby....

   In this crazy day and age in the United States, parents like us feel the necessity to keep this forbidden activity a secret from friends, family and even coworkers and neighbors. And before I get people taking gigantic steps up to their proverbial soap box, I feel I can say a few words about this subject and it's not one that I take lightly.
   I came from a family where we are the statistic..my sibling, Sabrina Jo, died of SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome at the age of six months. My parents awoke one morning to one less child breathing in this world. My parents followed all of the "guidelines" of the day. My  mom did not smoke with my sister growing in her belly. They followed all the rules. She was in her own bed. She was not too hot or too cold. My family practiced "safe" sleeping guidelines. SIDS happened to my family.
    I do not have any memories of my sister while she was alive. I was only five years old.  My memories are of how she looked in her tiny casket. How they put make-up on her face and didn't they know make-up was for adults? I remember the cold, waxy  feel of her skin and how her smell was tainted. I would later smell that familiar smell in my high school science classroom. I have memories of random sad faces. I didn't understand  how we could leave her alone in the ground.  I was terrified of angels taking the rest of my family. I learned very early on that life just  isn't fair.
   During my youth, I spent  time researching SIDS. And even into my adulthood, I keep an eye on the research to see if the scientists and doctors are making any headway. Thirty years later, there still are unanswered questions to this label. I call it a label because sometimes infant death receives the SIDS label when the death is unexplained. It is still a mystery.
   People like myself grow up physically. We meet someone and we eventually want to have a family of our own, regardless of  the intense fear. Somehow, you conquer your brain and go for it. That first year of your child's life, you are a bundle of nerves. You read up on all the guidelines for sleeping, look at any new research, some of us pray.
   We sleep with our newborn and I'm here to say that I'm proud that I do. Our Finn has her own bed on our bed...it's called a sleep nest. I learned of this nifty little piece while looking into other countries like Finland and how they handle their infants. We aren't the only country that has babies. There is a whole great world out there that has successful child rearing going on. According to the National Center for Education for Maternal and Child Health at Georgetown University,  compared to rates in other developed countries, the U.S. SIDS rate remains high. For example, in 2005, the U.S. rate ranked second highest (after New Zealand) among 13 countries in a research study by Fern Hauck and Kawai Tanabe. The lowest SIDS rates among these countries were in the Netherlands and Japan. And according to James J. McKenna, PhD, "Most cultures that routinely practice cosleeping, in any form, have very rare instances of SIDS. SIDS occurrences are among the lowest in the world in Hong Kong, where cosleeping is extremely common".
   There are safe ways to sleep with your infant, so that people like myself, can sleep. But sadly, there are few resources in America where parents can find good information. A big push of governmental offices is to push families into not having a hands on approach to sleeping. We just received a parcel through the postal mail from our state's Governor that included several pamphlets and a child's book about safe sleeping including sleeping alone in the crib. My husband and I agreed that we wanted to be safely close to our little miracle all of the time. We've been through so much and with our history of miscarriages and my own history with SIDS, we looked into all options.

Safe Ways To Cosleep

   According to the United Kingdom's The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), there are some safety guidelines to follow.

• Keep your baby cool by using sheets and blankets rather than a duvet.
• Ensure bedding does not cover your baby’s face or head.
• Always put your baby to sleep on their back rather than their front or side.
• Babies don’t need a pillow until they are at least a year old. They should also be kept away from parents' pillows.
• Never risk falling asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. If you’re feeling really tired and think you may fall asleep with your baby while feeding or cuddling them on a sofa or armchair, move to a bed (keeping in mind the safety guidelines above) or, if possible, ask your partner, friend or family member to look after them while you get some rest. 

For more indepth research and tips on cosleeping, click here.

   We enjoy cosleeping. She practically has her own half of our bed and we enjoy ours -my husband and I love to 'sleep pile'--- sleep in a pile. :) We like to cuddle together and listen to her breathing, dreaming and laughing in her sleep right next to us. There is a loving touch from one of us as soon as she utters a noise. I can groggily breastfeed our baby from the comfort of our bed and maybe catch a few zzz's afterwards before we start our exciting days. Finn enjoys her nest---sleeping and then waking up and  looking  around the room in which she was born. There is nothing more natural to us. And honestly, I think many of the people we know cosleep at some point of their infant's life....they are just closet cosleepers.

We cosleep - Hear Our ROAR!

Surviving postpartum with your thyroid monster

   AAAAHHHH the little bundle you've been waiting for has arrived!

Hopefully, you got to have the amazing birth experience you have been striving for like we did! Our journey that led with our Finn in our arms was miraculous, beautiful and soul quenching.....and then we spent our recovery time monitoring not only my recovery but prepping for the probable thyroid issues that moms with hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism have to endure after bringing a life into the world. Thyroid issues..it is a flurry of symptoms that can hit at any moment when your hormones fluctuate severely like they do after you have a baby. It can't be avoided. The best you can do is prepare for it by pre adjusting your medication while you are recovering from labor and delivery and following your recovery directions to every detail. Pay attention to your body and how it feels. Rest ALOT and eat properly. Continue to take your supplements. I cannot express how important it is to stay off your feet. After two weeks, even one event will deplete your energy levels and you know what? That's perfectly fine and to b expected. Your energy will eventually return! Just spend time enjoying your little wonderful miracle!

       I cannot thank my husband and my family enough for taking such good care of me during my recovery. My husband was by my side every hour for the days he was absent from work, changing Finn and allowing me to adhere to my week long bedrest mandate ordered by our midwife. My mom filled our pantry and fridgerator/freezer with easy to make meals and family favorites so my husband and daughter could handle mealtimes with ease. We were so blessed with her foresight for that....we had food for weeks! Our daughter kept up with the household chores. My father-in-law, who happens too live next door, made himself available when my husband had to return to work for any small requests that might arise. We are so blessed! It took me a good two weeks for my symptoms to level out. The brain fog lifted, the rapid heartbeat, the added profuse sweating, the insomnia finally left. The blues didn't take hold like they can with thyroid people....Smiles were all around our little house!

  When your thyroid hormone wildly fluctuates from delivery, it can swing from hypothyroid, which means your thyroid isn't making enough hormone and you supplement that, to hyperthyroid, which means you have too much thyroid hormone in your system. Symptoms can range from headaches to rapid heart rate, inability to handle heat, severe sweating, dehydration, vision changes, swollen eye lids, fatigue, insomnia, joint pain and much more. Not only are you recovering from the pregnancy, you are dealing with these symptoms all while adjusting to supplying milk to your wee one too.
   In severe cases, a thyroid storm can occur which can be fatal in adults. If you have any of the following symptoms, please contact your midwife or obstetrician immediately.

• A very high fever of 100 degrees to as high as 106 degrees.
• A very high heart rate, which can be as high as 200 beats per minute (BPM). 
• Palpitations, chest pain, and shortness of breath.
• High blood pressure.
• Confusion, delirium, and even psychosis.
• Extreme physical and muscle weakness
• Extreme fatigue and exhaustion.
• Extreme restlessness, nervousness, and mood swings.
• Exaggerated reflexes, especially in knee and ankle areas.
• Difficulty breathing.
• Nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
• Profuse sweating or dehydration.
• Stupor or coma

Please take care of yourself as you recover from your miraculous journey! Blessings from our family to you!