Fluoride free, that's the way for me!

   When I was child in grammar school, I was chosen by my teacher to be a character in our class play about tooth decay. My character was called Fluoride Flossy and I got to "save the day" and destroyed the effects of the villain that caused tooth decay to the enamel of our teeth. I portrayed a superhero in the fourth grade! Fluoride has long been touted as the saver of teeth and in the United States, many of the municipalities add the substance to their water.

Hiking and swimming with some of my clan

Black Hills, South Dakota

Many Americans use toothpaste that has fluoride and dental experts all over the land recommend using products that contain it. But there is mounting evidence that Fluoride is harmful to health, especially to people trying to tame their Hashimoto's beasts.
   Since I can remember, I had "bloody" teeth every time I brushed. My parents thought I brushed too hard, maybe I wasn't brushing enough, I needed to floss more, the list goes on and on. I always had bloody teeth after brushing regardless of bristle softness or how often I brushed. This went on into my adulthood....until I ditched fluoride and went fluoride free.
   My real life Thyroid Superhero, Dr. Izabella Wentz, and no I have not in any way by paid to say this, has gone on record about the use of Fluoride and the Thyroid function. "A dose of 2-5 mg of fluoride per day was typically found to be effective for suppressing an overactive thyroid. If you live in the typical fluoridated community and you’re being a “good girl” (or “good boy”) by drinking your 8 cups of water each day, chances are, you are inadvertently taking in enough fluoride to suppress your thyroid. Most adults in these communities are ingesting between 1.6 and 6.6 mg of fluoride per day."
   My goodness, the exhilaration I felt when I spit and it wasn't red...I had to do it again and again. WONDERFUL!!! I started with off the shelf fluoride free toothpaste and after a couple of years, made my own from ingredients I had right in the kitchen!

All Gal hike,

Black Elk Wilderness Area

Black Hills, South Dakota

elevation gain of 3,900 feet

I no long have the dragon breath of a Hashi warrior, I have the healthy smile of a Hashi warrior that takes on my world!

My simple diy fluoride free toothpaste:

• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 2 tbsp. ground sea salt
• 2-3 tbsp. ground egg shells, finely ground
• 20 drops of assorted essential oils like peppermint, cinnamon, clove, tea tree
• Optional ground cloves, ground cinnamon
  

Mix well.

This simple recipe helps a Hashi's teeth and gums heal from the use of Fluoride. Coconut oil calms sore gums and is an antiseptic, the sea salt assists in rebuilding enamel as does the calcium in the egg shells. I am now a bloody free toothbrusher! You will be too if you kick the fluoride out of the picture with fluoride free toothpaste and mouthwash, watching your intake red and black tea and limiting the steep time, checking the ingredients on medications, and adding the supplement Taurine, click on the ink to learn more,  into your diet will help. I encourage each of you to look deeper into this issue of fluoride and Hashimoto's  on your own. I can only attest to what personally happened to me :)

I've got some big things in the works right now and will be keeping you posted as things unfold! Until then, I hope this post finds you and guides you to an easier day and a restful sleep!
Blessings!

"Your day will go the way the corners of your mouth do."

Post partum baby 18 months and

I'm stronger than I've ever been.
Also....I'm STOKED about my bamboo sunglasses!
It's the little things :)

Biscuits are for Rainbows!

   Fall is upon us in the Northern hemisphere - chill is making an appearance as the leaves invite us to see the beauty of the changing cycles of our world.

My ad campaign for October :) I designed

check me at Crisawesomeness Designs 

     October marks the time for us to begin slowing down, earlier evenings, warm meals and hearty laughs, sipping hot tea and cocoa, settling in on the American League's  pennant race in the hopes of another NY Yankee win....walking in nature and enjoying the last fleeting moments before the snow falls and silences the landscape.

Hiking in the beautiful 

Black Hills, South Dakota

St. Elmo's Peak

 October is also a month to spread awareness for Miscarriage and Infant Loss with  pink and blue ribbons.

I

am

1 in 4.

   Those are words I don't take lightly, I am the face of miscarriage and so is my husband.

We are survivors, we are warriors. My family is the face of Infant Loss.  I want  to spread awareness for those who suffer  agonizing over  the loss of their baby, whether their baby was full term,  or just innocently hanging out in your womb, whether you held your baby or just heard a heartbeat. We are a part of a community that knows how to proceed on, live and think of the could haves. We are part of a family that silently gets annoyed by those who unknowingly say phrases to make themselves feel secure when you finally  let your true feelings come out and exhibit uncomfortable sorrow that day. We have heard other people's reasons for our babies leaving too soon, and not finding comfort in any reason that is presented to us. We quietly reflect on the anniversaries of our baby's birth and death every year whether it happened last year or 30 years ago. We move on somehow and little things trigger a memory that transport us in time for a moment. We are no longer the person we used to be - and that is hard for some people who know us.

  

Some days we shine.

Some days we try.

Some days we struggle

and some days we don't. 

Fun with Autumn Leaves!

   We welcomed our rainbow baby this March and we feel overwhelmed ....  so fortunate, so lucky, so blessed. There are so many families that are still trying for their rainbow, or have decided the road to rainbow is too difficult.  However, we  still are a part of this beautiful community of hopeful and strong  people and forever will be.
   In honor and to raise awareness, here is a delicious herbal teething biscuits recipe I tweaked  for nearly any little one....they are gluten free, egg free and nut free :) The coconut flour provides a wonderful source of fiber (it doesn't add a coconut flavor either), molasses  is rich in  Iron, Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Copper, and Vitamin B6 while coconut oil provides medium-chain fatty acids!

Rainbow Biscuits
1 cup gluten free baking flour
1/2 cup coconut flour 
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup pear puree
3 tablespoons coconut oil
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon or cardamom seeds (powder)
1 1/2 tablespoons blackstrap molasses
Herbed sugar for dusting

Mix all ingredients thoroughly and shape the biscuits by hand for easy grabbing. Lightly dust with herbed sugar - we used lemon verbena sugar I made from our garden last week for a nice citrus twist. Place on cookie sheet and bake one and a half hours at 275 degrees.
Let cool and then pop them in the freezer and use as needed for sore gums!

Blessings!

Goals, giggles and great things

   Well my fellow Hashi Warriors, thyroid peeps and the like....HI!

Yoga with my Finn while camping

Chica the husky was doing her own pose..downward dog, maybe :).

  It's again been too long since I've talked with you! Have no doubt that you have been on my mind as I thoroughly enjoy our little Finn girl. We feel so blessed everyday to be able to look upon her with wild fascination. We take no moment for granted, knowing that many of you wish so much for the same miracle to come into your lives. It's summertime in our part of the world so our days are filled with lots of great activities like hiking, swimming and gardening and our nights have campfires and hammocks...I love this life!

My happy birthday this year

   News from my postpartum world is HUGE....my lifestyle changes have made a tremendous impact on my hypothyroidism. I am no longer required to supplement my thyroid with medication. I'm drug free so to speak! My body is producing enough on its own! I will continue to monitor my thyroidism to see if this is long-term. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to find the root of your thyroidism whether it is hyperthyroid or hypothyroid and fix the issue. Be your own scientist. Be your own sleuth. We wouldn't have our Finn here with us if it not had been for my belief that you can in fact heal your thyroid. Especially if you are trying to conceive with little results, or have incurred several miscarriages as we did, you must get to the root of the problem. I read lots of books, like Root Cause by Dr. Izabella Wentz. Click on the link and check it out! If you'd like to know more about the changes I made, please email me-I love talking about this and helping others find their path!
   Now....back to our little Finn! What a joy! We are learning all about her - and have adjusted pretty flawlessly. We wanted her so much for so long. Our other children seem to have adjusted to her arrival as well. People have asked me if it is like starting over again with there being nearly 14 years difference between our now middle child with our youngest. It's not starting over to me. I'm still a mom and always was one. I would say I thoroughly enjoy every moment - even when she has cried solid for two hours. This time will pass and one day I will miss it. It has been an adjustment for all of us, but a welcomed one. We have two daughters, just out on their own, who come visit us more frequently to forge a relationship with their sister. It warms our hearts to see that. She started laughing last week and the little giggles bring our 14-year-old to her side every time.

Breastfeeding in the hammock!

   Most of the Hashi people I've met, are like me, they were always healthy eaters, big into fitness. That's probably because you noticed your weight fluctuated so much and you needed to stay on top of whatever was going on. My postpartum journey on that side of things has been trying....after Finn arrived, my midwife checked my abdominal muscles and I had a whopper five-inch abdominal muscle separation, also known as Diastasis recti.  Not a huge surprise since this was my fourth live birth and actually eighth pregnancy. Resting those muscles are crucial for a healthy recovery---no heavy lifting, abdominal work or engaging those muscles at all. It's a little tough at times.  It took FOREVER for it to fuse back (nearly 12 weeks) and I'm still working on complications due to the condition. My hips are continually misaligning themselves and my lower back is weakened because of it.

We can, however, finally get back into the pool after three months of diastasis recti Hell :) BRING ME MY SUPERSUIT....regardless of how much extra skin I have floating around my mid-section! Bodies come in all shapes and sizes and despite this journey, my body has really served me well. I'm breastfeeding and with my gluten free/ low dairy diet, it hasn't been hard for me to melt away. I have had to incorporate some Sunflower Lecithin for healthy fats so my milk isn't like skim milk but that's a topic for another day. In the meantime, let's get those muscles strengthened! Finn is ready to join us in the pool!

Blessings!

Living the Dream!

   2017 has been an exciting year for me! My lifestyle changes have paved the way to the birth of our rainbow baby, Finn...I no longer have to be on a synthetic thyroid and have healed my thyroid...BIG STUFF! I've had some long term goals and plans come into fruition, one of which I'm proud to blog about today .......

My Spring/Summer Curated Signature Collection for VIDA  went LIVE at about 7:00 p.m. MST! What this means is that models are wearing the accessories that I designed. I am now an accessories designer :)
I am so excited about the pieces being featured. The whole project has been amazing and one that I have been able to enjoy as I am staying at home with our daughters, Summer and Finn. The featured piece entitled Nature's Open Heart is being spotlighted on the main shop section on the VIDA website. It is quite an honor to be featured in their shop all section and something I have dreamed about since being contacted by them about displaying my artistic talents.
   This collection includes some of my acrylic artwork as well as photographs from our area and promotes the beauty of nature and highlights South Dakota living. The featured pieces are actually shots taken in one of my favorite spots in this world---our backyard in South Dakota in the USA. Nature's Open Heart  is a photograph of a native South Dakota flower with beautiful attributes....tall and proud, lightly fragrant purple flowers, food for our state insect, the bee. It is known by many names Old Settler Lilac, Skyrockets, Firework flowers to name a few. These flowers always remind me of my grandparents on both sides of my family, the Andersons and the Halls. The little purple petals bring warm memories bubbling up to the surface. The fragrance washes hugs and kisses throughout my system....warm fuzzies!

Look at our finished Look!!

I'm so proud of it!

   OK let's talk about this whole designer curated process....in one word, AMAZING! I was contacted by VIDA about possibly featuring a few pieces with their models and I jumped at the chance. From the comfort of my home, I met with my design team online. First I was given the choice of which of my products I wanted to highlight. I quickly picked my favorites and next up was picking the models....the choices were difficult. My thoughts turned toward color of hair, style of hair, the complete look-very exciting and daunting! Once that was complete, poses of the models and how to display the product was addressed. There were so many factors to think about! I strolled outside to visit with my husband and father-in-law about the many creative choices. They were knee-deep in assembling a new basketball hoop but threw some chuckles my direction as I contemplated the project. There were several times during the process that I just couldn't believe I was getting to actually do this! I think I smiled through the whole thing! The last decision to be made was the backgrounds for the models ... again, thoughts trying to wrap around the whole picture. I think our final images are a big WIN. I absolutely am thoroughly pleased and more importantly, proud of this work..
   In a few weeks, I will have some of my pieces available for purchase offline...that's right! I will have pieces on hand available! We are planning some fun social media events and we are making my presence known at small venues like our local Farmer's Market during this summer season.

   And now I proudly present my Curated collection. Click HERE please and share this collection like crazy!

   Blessings!

Enjoying the South Dakota sun with Finn & Chica

my hammock is filled with the best!

Just breathe: another milestone hit

Pregnancy after Loss

"Be Still. Close your Eyes. Breathe.

I am worthy of this baby."

  Yesterday, was a big day for us. It was a time of excitement, fear, joy and nervousness. It was our  20 week ultrasound appointment...a big occasion here in the United States for expecting families. It's a chance to view your little one, scrutinize at all the bone structures, organ structures and watch the antics of the little human you are growing. And on a side for us, it's a chance to look at the anatomy to see if you need to be preparing for a little hooligan of a boy or the excessive giggles of a little girl.

"Out of difficulties, grow miracles."

My daughter, story about her below, and I during

a DIY photo shoot in the Black Hills, South Dakota.

   We weren't quite sure how this appointment would go, the fear of the unknown and whatnot. You never quite recover from seeing a non-beating heart on that screen...the fear is always in the back of your mind.  I've also had excessive stress around me that could not be avoided---raising teenagers isn't for the weak hearted and they have lives of their own too.
   Our teen daughter made up her mind to make her own plans one evening without us knowing and after she didn't arrive home, I instantly knew something was amiss. I began calling, texting, driving to her activity center. This particular daughter always keeps us updated and would go out of her way to not make anyone worry. Long story short, I finally received a text from her after she was missing an hour saying that she had made a mistake, wrecked and totaled my four-wheel drive and was 50 miles from home in the forest in an area that had no cell phone coverage and that she needed help but was unsure where she was. My husband and I drove the deserted roads for three hours trying to find her. She somehow came out with only a concussion and bruising when she lost control of the vehicle and went over an 8 foot embankment, waking up in a running creek in the dark, in the middle of a desolate area. She had crawled out of the creek, and walked and ran in the dark  to the nearest homestead she could find to be able to use WIFI to text. I'm so thankful to report she is alive and well....and currently grounded. The stress levels with that were well beyond overload.
   I rested and slept as much as I could to recover from that horrible night. haha She is so sorry beyond words and with the anticipation of the Wee Baby Ness and  was just terribly worried her teen actions would hurt her sibling. The weekend that followed held a beautiful  reminder for our family as the Wee Baby Ness kicked hard all that night so everyone could feel the little miracle. It was a nice reminder that we had everything that was really important safe and sound in our home with us...the situation could have easily been horrifying.

Our awesome teen

   This past month, I have incorporated my Vitamin B Complex back into rotation, to see if that indeed had any merit on my pregnancy metabolism. I'm thrilled to report that it did! I gained only two pounds this month and my blood pressure is right on target.

20 weeks and

counting blessings

   The thirty minute scan was amazing. Our baby is growing and measuring right where she/he needs to be! We saw movement all the time, little glimpses of the personality as he/she dealt with the intruding machine on it's cozy home. Our sonographer took us through every step, telling us what she was looking at and throwing in the occasional "Cute!" comment.

Namaste from the Wee Baby Ness

We got about 10 shots for us to take home on disc or fingers, feet, faces, the entire body. It was a very enjoyable time watching the facial movements, waving arms, fingers grasping, eye rubbing.  Our baby measures about 14 ounces...that's on the heavy end of weight gains. This looks like it could be a challenge later for my 5'3", used to be 120 pound frame...time will tell!

Our daughter Keira

and the belly

   The other members of our family are doing very well! Our middle school-aged daughter had her first art exhibition and show and our other daughter is nursing her first broken heart from a break-up from aone and a half year relationship...we've got lots of going ons in our household this past month!

Talking with Dah!

We are 16' goin' on 17 da-da dum da Dee daaah

  The Wee Baby Ness has made an appearance and even strangers can now see our delight. Rainbow babies are extra special and make everyone smile! If you aren't aware of what a rainbow baby is, it is a baby conceived after a loss or miscarriage. Using the universal sign of hope, a rainbow, symbolizes the beautiful part of making it through a terrible and powerful storm, of which we are so fortunate to have survived. We've been waiting for a rainbow for a few years.
   My shifts at the brewery have been shortened, to give more time to prepare for baby....and relax. I always have amazing stories though from the people I meet. The other day, as I explained our menu to a young couple, their inquisitive toddler sat there. Mid sentence, I felt a POKE POKE POKE on my belly and I looked down to see their little girl poking the Wee Baby Ness and smiling and blabbering on to the little occupant in my womb. I smiled as I felt the wiggles from inside me. I really enjoy the fact that everyone in my life, strangers included, treating me - us - as if the baby is a "somebody" already. My coworkers chat up the Wee Baby Ness, one always pokes, and all of them give affectionate rubs. Our family also takes turns chatting and caressing.

My view of our Fierce little Ness

Another month has flown by and we have seen our primary OBGYN again. I've been feeling pretty great although I've had a few episodes of heart palpitations and vision changes, both associated with m hypothyroidism. I'm still donning my own jeans with a belly band, despite the big growth expanse in my belly region. Again, I battled the terrible nerves of stepping on that scale at the doctor's office. But what did I really have to worry about...right?! The same smiling faces greeted us at the office and I turned the corner to see that silver menace...the scale. With a deep breath, I stepped on...drumroll....BOOM.....I gained a whopping 9 pounds over the last month. **sigh** Internally, I was/and continue to be ----devastated. My blood pressure was right on target, so that fact is awesome. Next stop, a meet with the OB and to listen to the heartbeat.
   We found the little pitter patter heartbeat immediately, and big smiles filled the room, but quickly the squirming began. It was as if the Wee Baby Ness discovered the hiding spot was comprised and said,"Ske-Daddle!!!" We all laughed as the baby scurried all over, running from the Doppler. The heartbeat was good, a moving baby is excellent! Smiles all around! Now....back to the weight gain. Where, why, how??? I'm gluten intolerant so that's usually where the bulk of most people's diet problems lie. We tested my TSH and that came back normal...Thank the Gods! They assured me they had no worries at this time and sometimes people gain lots one month and hardly any the next. We just need to wait it out and see if any more hypothyroid symptoms rear their ugly head.
   Of course my brain couldn't let it drop after we got home....I researched water retention remedies, and stumbled upon B complex vitamins. I had been taking them and just didn't pick anymore up when I ran out. I discovered this may contribute to a sluggish metabolism...hopefully BINGO!
   Time will tell if this helps at all or if more hypothyroid symptoms will begin creeping in. I'm so
thankful that the baby is healthy and growing...and that we are enjoying every moment of this
journey! Meanwhile, we keep preparing by making diapers and thinking of things we are going to
need when March 2017 arrives!

My champion family who I love with all my heart! My husband is helping me make cloth diapers and 

our daughter is building the chest of drawers for storage for baby.

Swimming in chlorine: Chemicals in your water

   I have been an avid swimmer most of my life. I even spent a decade as a lifeguard, swim instructor, pool operator and lifeguard instructor. I love, love, LOVE swimming. I haven't been able to swim since July of this year and finally my husband and I swam this past week!

Here we are at our favorite indoor facility!

   We live in a climate that waters do not remain open year round so we are mostly swimming in chlorinated pools. There has been lots of documented information that points to chlorine or bromine in swimming pool as a cause for low thyroid. Fluoride in water and toothpaste can also affect your thyroid. All three of these chemicals interfere with the absorption of Iodine.  Finding this information out crushed me. Swimming is my sanctuary, especially during my healing process. Getting rid of fluoride from your life is a subject for another blog.
  I really thought about it....How can I do my favorite sport and stay safe? Your skin is your biggest and most exposed organ. Think about that. Think about all the "stuff" you put on your skin to either feel good or better. I had already started making my own sunscreen with safe ingredients for autoimmune people---so why not make a liquid body armor so my skin doesn't absorb chlorine?
   One way to tell if your skin has absorbed the chlorine is if you smell of chlorine long after you've swam. There were many many times I would smell like chlorine daily, especially during the summer months. That meant I was operating with chlorine in my system constantly, blocking iodine from getting into my system where it belonged.
   I started experimenting with my sunscreen formula and took out the zinc, added more beeswax and a little more apricot oil and it is perfectly waterproof. My sunscreen recipe can be found in a previous post on this blog. I tried this out and the water beaded up throughout my whole swim. I coated my hair with this as well so my strands wouldn't suck up any inferior chemicals. Score one for the Hashimoto's warrior!

Here I am this week ---15 weeks and counting! Our little bump is coming along nicely. I keep occupied with my family, brewery business and simple things!

A little friend in our backyard

by Cris M. Ness

The Ness Crew

September 2016

The 2016 Harvest Moon

by Cris M. Ness

Stop the Madness! Your hormones will thank you!

If you suffer from a chronic illness like diabetes, Hashimoto's or any other autoimmune disorder or disease, you need to know about endocrine disruptors (chemicals that are found everywhere when you look) that can wreak havoc on your well being.
To know how this can affect your life, we need to first talk about your endocrine system.
My wha?? Yes, you have an endocrine system that is a very important system in the human body.
I'm not going to go into a bunch of medical blah blah blah...here's some things you'll notice your endocrine system does!
You want to lose/gain weight? That's a part of your endocrine system. How about remembering where you last put your keys or about an upcoming meeting time? You guessed it, that's information that your endocrine system controls. Heart rhythms, skipped periods, low libido? That's part of your endocrine system too! Your endocrine system controls many many areas of your body and with out it or if it becomes severely damaged, the human body can decline rapidly. According to the medical staff on WebMD, "The endocrine system influences how your heart beats, how your bones and tissues grow, even your ability to make a baby. It plays a vital role in whether or not you develop diabetes, thyroid disease, growth disorders, sexual dysfunction, and a host of other hormone-related disorders." It's kind of a big deal.
So what can disrupt your endocrine system? Look in your medicine cabinet. Look in your make-up case. Do you put mass manufactured baby oil or lotion on your biggest organ - YOUR SKIN - daily? Anything we put on our bodies, gets absorbed into us and can disrupt an already faulty or struggling endocrine system. Even room sprays and air fresheners like Febreeze can harm a person trying to get their system back in line. Perfume, mass produced deodorant and laundry detergent can all disrupt your system.
So what is a person gonna do? My recovery plan for my flailing adrenals and confused hormones, I turned to cutting out all non-toxic cleaning materials, laundry supplies, body lotions, sprays, sunscreens and even shampoos. I make most of my own products for our house and if I don't have success making the products, I can usually find something in one of my natural stores or online to fit the bill.

People cannot argue with my results. In a year, I have overhauled my body internally. For the first time in over twenty years, I have been off allergy remedies and medications. And this is just one change that I've noticed. I've noticed several other things like not breaking out inexplainably in hives, I do not have dry itchy skin anymore and my brain fog seems to have loosed up its' grip on me! New lady!

Check out these great items!!

Things for dry skin:

• Coconut oil
• African Shea Butter
• Olive oil

Toothpaste replacement:
I love the brand Tom's, otherwise, baking soda with a dash of peppermint, tea tree or lavender oil will do in a pinch!

Hair care:
Coconut milk based recipes are amazing for hair. You can find some here.
Honey and eggs are also a great conditioner for your skin and they are affordable!

All natural deodorant:
When I first went off commercial mass produced deodorant, I was freaked out. I was having to apply it two or three times a day to keep up with the funky smell. Firstly, I detoxed my armpits using this recipe. Then I purchased a salt block and used that. After a few weeks, I detoxed the pits again. After only six months, I do not even need to salt to start my day and leave the house!

When cleaning your home, look for products that are biodegradable, earth friendly and use essential oils to disinfect and clean. Anything that leaves a trail or a chemical haze in the air is really off limits for a while.

Do you like to burn wax? Try using a soy based wax melt scented with all natural essential oils without artificial coloring. These smell great and our family has  no issues with allergies while using these. These are my current favorites and the product is awesome!

A special note about baby oil: Mass produced baby oil is petroleum or mineral based. These kinds of products do not allow your skin to breath. It coats your skin and disrupts the process to cell regeneration. It actually ages your skin. Your pores do not function as they should. Vegetable or fruit based oils are suggested in place of petroleum or mineral oil.

   In the United States, efforts have been severely hampered by chemical lobbyists to change laws or put statutes in place to  remove the harmful endocrine disrupting agents from the shelves of the stores. Despite the work of several hardworking individuals, over a decade has passed with the measures still awaiting to be carried out. European nations are in a much better lot with their governmental agencies taking the scientific data seriously. For more information on the measures, click here.

Blessings!

Ask me about Distance Healings

or need a consult?

Cris Ness

Still hesitantly excited...and 10 weeks pregnant!

   We are in our tenth week of pregnancy....let me say that again! WE ARE IN OUR TENTH WEEK OF PREGNANCY! It really has flown by! Since I've last written, we've had our first in-person doctor visit complete with ten vials of blood and an ultrasound.

   The ultrasound....I knew we would be getting one but I didn't tell Clayton until we got there. That is very scary for couples that have experienced miscarriage. The last two ultrasounds I saw was first our deceased baby and then the next was an image of an empty womb. A sight you are supposed to be relieved to see, showing that everything had passed and I would be recovering, but that is not what you want to see at all deep in your heart of hearts. I would've given my existence to save that baby. Our ultrasound tech was perfect and was very very compassionate to our case. She was with us through it all before. We began, both of us not really looking at the projection on the television. "OK...see? ....See that little flickering right here? That's your baby's heart and it is flickering strong! Here is the head and here is the rump....now that we can all breath in here, I'm going to get started with my tests, OK?" She had her perfect bedside manner, as usual.

   After we were alone, I admitted that right before the test, I felt panic. My body hadn't changed much and I was twinged with fear of the empty womb. Clayton admitted he felt the same...we are so much alike at times. That moment of the flickering heart, the baby became real for him.

Our baby's flicker of a heart. Our chances of miscarriage statistically have dropped to  two  percent.

We've been in that two percent before....hold your breath!

   The rest of the appointment was full of completing my charts and scheduling upcoming appointments, urine samples and blood sampling. I was anxious for the bloodwork, this was going to be the marker on whether to truly get excited or not....
   About a week later, all of my test came in and the fated call blew up my phone. "Cristina? This is _______ OBGYN. I have your test results and we have a couple of things to talk about."....my heart truly sank. This is how those previous phone calls have been that ended in miscarriage. I mumbled alright. "First off, your TSH is great so we aren't doing anything with your dosage at this time. It is 0.2 and that's right where we want it. Secondly, you do not have an immunity to Rubella, so you will need an immunization after you have your baby in the hospital, okay?" I smiled and said, "Woo hoo! Thank you so much!!"
WHAT A RELIEF! I scooted upstairs to let Clayton know the news and we wore secret smiles the rest of the day!

   As the days have progressed, my bloating is up and down, mood is up and down and the cravings combined with nausea...ranch corn chips with chocolate milk, peppers upon peppers with blue cheese, gluten free bagels with cream cheese, spoons of peanut butter and beef...OH THE BEEF!
   Now all of our children know and that is a relief. It is difficult to keep such an exciting, scary and adventurous secret! They were great and not too scared. It's scary watching mom get sick and having her struggle. It's hard being the sibling of a baby taken too soon---you don't get to have fun memories with them, you get an injured mom and dad, sadness, worry that your mom and dad will never be the same, (and they never are the same---everyone in the house is changed from this hard realization that some things aren't always rosy) and then there is the anger. Anger that this happened to your family. It's hard being that sibling. And many people don't even think about the children involved in those families. Those kids are being strong and waiting for their world, their parents, to not be broken in a million pieces, and some parents never recover. For us, as a couple, we got stronger. We've gone through the deaths of children and somehow lived to tell about it. We are shining after the storm. And our kids are simply beautifully amazing.
  To keep our lives as stress free as possible, we are keeping a lid on things still. We still aren't out of the woods yet, despite the large beams of light upon us, and we just want to keep our lives as routine as possible. Our stress levels depends on it! A lingering question for me is whether my Hashimoto's antibodies will remain inactive. That's key for our success as well and it is beyond my control besides taking my selenium supplement and staying away from my identified triggers like gluten and stress. I am developing my Reiki practice daily and the meditation is invaluable to me. I am writing this blog as we go as a record for others like us....gathering every speck of courage on this journey called Hashimoto's and Hypothyroidism.

Here's me and my Mini Cooper! My husband rebuilt the engine for me!

   With the cooler weather heading our way and the holidays coming up, we will have some decisions to make about public appearances and my possible exposure to Rubella. After the journey we've been on, we won't be taking that lightly. We do not want the chance of causing birth defects in our unborn little. I personally plan on avoiding areas where the chance of exposure is great and this includes family gatherings like weddings and birthday parties, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

10 weeks pregnant!

Believe in your journey!

The tests are in.....I'm freakishly fabulous!!

   For six long months, I've been in an active battle everyday. Every day, for the past six months, I've been an active commander-in-chief. Every minute, making a choice to better the predicament I was in. For those just joining me, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's last Summer after another grueling, painful, unwanted, emotionally deadening miscarriage. In a nutshell, being Hashimoto's means when my body encounters certain things, i.e. gluten, a common flu/virus, severe stress, it makes up a very kick ass army ...and it attacks body organs ---MY BODY ORGANS! These internal attacks can last from a few weeks to several agonizing and painful months of waking up daily in pain.
   For anyone that battles an autoimmune condition, test day is a big day. It takes a minimum of six weeks to alter medications and see if things are going in the direction you need them to go. We didn't know it, but I had vast internal damage in my gut that needed healing. Gut healing takes a minimum of six months. It is six months of being very regimented and on point. Six months of always thinking about what goes in your body for fuel, nutrients and hydration. Six months of not knowing if any of the sacrifices you are enduring are for anything. Six months of wishful thinking.
   The time had come to test. My friends and family wished me well right before I went in with "I got good feels about this!" to "You're amazing!" to "Let me know right away, okay? I love you." My support team is nothing short of fantastic. You'd think after all the blood work I've experienced the past two years, I would know what the person taking samples is called. I don't. I refer to these wonderful people as my pokers. This time my poker "Luanne" looked at my chart and giggled. "I just got a flashback from your chart! I graduated high school the exact day you were born!" I smiled and laughed and thought to myself of the wonderful exchange we just had and that this is good omen. She didn't hurt me either, another good omen.
   My blood tests take two days in a lab for results. I could go into extensive detail as to why, but that is a whole other blog subject! In essence, they must mix my blood with other components and see what reaction(s) happen. I was pretty patient for the wait, but my entourage was anxious! And then boom! Here they were.....
   After being six months on the same dosage of levoxithyroxine, going gluten free, adding supplements and minerals, building and installing infrared light therapy, routine therapeutic massage sessions, and enduring a long term  parasitic cleanse...I have exactly what I was working towards!

My levoxythyroxine dosage needs to be decreased again. It means that my thyroid gland is repairing itself and producing again.

My Thyroglubin Antibody test indicated that my Hashimotos is in REMISSION...for now. My antibodies are there but have been put on stand down. They can remain on duty floating through my system waiting to be reminded of their jobs for the next three years. And more recent data has come in that indicates that they were probably attacking other areas in my body too, we just haven't figured out where yet. I will always have Hashimoto's, the BEST I can shoot for is remission.

After my results came in, it was time to adjust again. Brain fog, appetite loss, vision changes seemingly hourly, loss of sleep...been through it before so it was just time to batten down the hatches for a brighter tomorrow. :) As usual, my soul partner, husband, solid foundation was amazing as we're my loving kids. I can't stress enough how thankful I am to have these people in my life.

I'm going on four weeks now and it is amazing!

Causes for extensive jubilation and celebration! I celebrated my birthday with the usual fanfare and simple joys! Believe in your journey!

Sunscreen for the rest of us: Recipe worth worshipping!

   I love being in the sun and I always have. Commercial sunscreen was called "tanning butter" when I was a kid. The people I idolized often used vegetable oil or baby oil to attract the sun's warmth, put themselves in generated light machines and were considered beauty....fast forward a few decades and we finally accept how harmful this is to our largest vital organ, our skin. More and more people are falling victim to Melanoma every year. And if you've been lucky enough to be diagnosed with an autoimmune condition like I have, just simply using deodorant or body lotion can wreak havoc on your endocrine system.

Faeryboop Friendly Sun Blocker
Available here....

   I've always been a huge proponent of max SPF sunscreen. Working as a lifeguard/instructor for an outdoor aquatic facility for over a decade, I always made darn sure my vital organ was covered. If not, the possibility of heat stroke, or exhaustion was a certainty. I wanted to use the sunscreen with the safest ingredients, but it just wasn't economically feasible.....until now!

I made my own SPF 45 WATERPROOF sunscreen with a few ingredients and about 30 minutes of my time. 

I'll tell you how to do it!

You can alter this recipe to your liking but here's what I did;

Gather up your ingredients
like beeswax, coconut oil and Shea butter

1/2 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup aloe or almond oil or carrot seed oil
2 Tbsp.-1/4 cup beeswax
1-2Tbsp. Shea butter
1 tsp. vitamin E oil
2 Tbsp. zinc oxide powder*
15-20 drops of your favorite essential oil(s)

* You MUST buy Non-Nano Zinc Oxide Powder for the recipe to be considered endocrine system healthy. Besides, you get to look like this when you are brewing it up!

Take caution when using powered zinc oxide!
Breathing the dust is very harmful!

Step one: Combine the coconut oil, aloe, beeswax, vitamin E oil and Shea butter in a double boiler. No worries if you don't have one! I improved with a saucepan and a big stock pot of boiling water. Making sure the surrounding water doesn't get into your saucepan mix by holding it just within the water.

Homemade double boiler

Step two: when the mix is well combined, remove from heat. Add essential oils and put on your mask!

Step three: While wearing your mask and brewing in a well ventilated area, add the zinc. Stir very well.

Step four: Pour in desired containers! Enjoy!

*****This sun block is amazing! It is long lasting, silky smooth and we love how we can customize it with our favorite ingredients.

Art in motion: My Art Legacy Experience #RCArtLove

   The past few weeks, I've been preparing for an art event called The Art Legacy Project, where stories and art come together. It's about connecting, working together and inspiring others, it's highlighting someone's passion and after it was over, I know I was meant to be chosen for this event. A huge thanks first off to the sponsors The Elks Theatre, Simpsons Printing, The OWN, The Rapid City Arts Council and the Suzie Cappa Art Center.....and all the wonderful people in the audience who were hopefully impacted by this event in some way.

My display area featuring artwork,

my travel coffee table book, photography

Copyrighted by Sydnie Ness

Along came Judy.....I was first approached by a member of the Art Legacy Committee in January/February if I would be interested and wow was this in my realm....a storyteller is weaving a tale while I'm illustrating live with 20 minutes to start and finish a painting?! Yeah, this project could be amazing!
As many of you know, my recent diagnosis of Hashimoto's has been a big breakthrough and I'm still learning how to handle all those situations that life throws at you. Your endocrine system is critical in handling social situations, body temperature, heart rhythms, metabolism, controls your growth, critical thinking... it has a huge impact on your body and your life. I have been striving to operate at full capacity and sometimes my body still  questions me. I kept focus on my day to day and for a change, I thoroughly enjoyed this moment. My anxiety was low and with the help of my family, my Hashimoto's didn't stand in the way of  my day.
During a quick meet and greet at the offices of the Dahl Fine Arts Center, Rapid City, South Dakota, a month before the schedule event, I met my storyteller. He was late for the initial meeting and when he entered the room, there is no way a guy of that height can enter undetected!

Fred and I looking at my creation after his story was told

Copyrighted by Sydnie Ness

He started talking about this woman he admired,  his coworker and it struck me because he wasn't her brother, husband, father....he was a man admiring this woman  who impacted his life with her quick wit, can do spirit and drive to succeed. This sounded like my kind of woman! There was a big connection.....There has never been a challenge I shirked away from and especially with my Hashimoto's, I quickly became my own advocate and began learning all I could, when I wasn't sleeping, that is. My husband would attempt to keep up with my research and watch with supportive tones. I want to paint Judy's story!
Judy Bialka was her name and over the course of two meetings with Fred, I learned they were in the sanitation business together, she built her own company, she had a successful 'pink cart' campaign and that she commented how she would "kick cancers ass!" . A woman in that kind of business is a strong one. And she built bridges with her mouth to get things done. For 10 years., I was an aquatic director and head of the maintenance of the pool (that my friends is overwhelmingly dominated by men). Another similarity. He talked about the great lengths she would go to help people. She was diagnosed with melanoma cancer and fought for six years! My father-in-law whom I've grown to love and admire is on the war with melanoma...another sign for me that this match-up was destined.

"United against cancer"

By Cris Ness 2016

I spent my free time painting almost daily when I wasn't serving tables or serving beers.  My husband would ask in the mornings, "so, what are you going to paint today?" He quietly sits in the same room and occasionally looks, and when I'm done, he always get a giant grin on his face and hugs me...I love this kind of artistry reward system! Lots of great things came out onto the canvas....but I still didn't know how I could bring to life this woman who Fred so admired for being a trailblazer, a whirlwind, a colorful woman to admire. Days ticked by and a week before the event, I still just had a blank canvas going on in my brain with fleeting images of pink garbage cans, a colorful whirlwind, and a pig and a chicken putting on a breakfast together.
Fred, Anne who was our Black Hills Storyteller liaison, and I again had a coffee meet. A week earlier, I had shown the duo my style of work. In  the winter months, I started this random candle light series...and it made my family go hmmm, made my dog bark and growl at the painting, of which I exclaimed, "Honey!!! I pulled  emotion out of  the dog!!!!" They looked at the woman and stared.

My very own bookmarks "Into The Night" :)

I JUST LOVE HER!!!

At this last meeting, Fred had been thinking about my candle series and how that might just be a good focal point for the painting. I had gone to that meeting with that very thought in mind. Earlier in the day, I had been talking to my husband about Judy (I didn't mention much about what this story was going to be about before then.) and he quickly uttered,"that candle stuff you were doing a few months ago would be perfect".
I decided to work on the background some more. I looked up her obituary online late one evening  and Fred had described her perfectly and this other background information filled in gaps as far as her achievements throughout her short life. Judy was a mere 47-year-old youngster when her fight was over. She was vivacious, victorious, tenacious, winning....how do you put that on canvas???

"She would come into a room like a whirlwind...and that's the feeling of how it is now that's she's gone..."---Fred Folsom

This quote from one of our meetings continually clicked in my mind. I painted a storyboard filled with all the images jumbling around in my mind. The next morning, I popped out of bed and began painting vibrant colors on the black...and then thought of tears washing and dimming that spirit away. My dirty dish sponge was the first tool and boy did it work brilliantly! The "tears" streamed down the colorful spirit, dulling the shine....and then a single candle appeared. This fit perfectly....and I could easily complete the entire art piece in that timeframe blowing away the viewing audience with the creation forming before their eyes. I knew what I was doing and I had four days to spare! Life was GOOD!
My husband was my stage hand and handled all my artwork and setting up---we woke up the morning of the show and made table easels out of sticks from our backyard, giggling and chatting about "my big day". He is so awesome!
Before I knew it, the display was up and people were taking their seats, the show began and after I took in the two pairs ahead of us, it was GO TIME! I've performed musically for several audiences, been in large orchestras, had the honor of being first chair in orchestra and have had the honor of being passed the conductor's baton...OH THE POWER!!! But I speak through my music, through the written word and if I get a microphone in front of me I lose my mind really...it's just blank LOL. Fred on the other hand is a chatty booming man who has a story for any occasion.

The process began...the colors came out, Fred's words rang in the darkness, I can hear people reacting behind me as the water trickled down the wet canvas and the colors ran down. I pulled the
lines through. Then Fred's voice cracks and I tune in for just a second and I can hear him taking a gasping breath and a slight pause to regain his composure. I tune him out and sink down in my chair...this man whom I just met and shared coffee with, has shared his soul with me and I him through my art and I'm going to get emotional. The candle begins to appear and before I know it, we are headed to the center of the stage and he gives me a big Fred Bear hug!

"Judy's Light", Cris Ness and Fred Folsom

Photo by Sydnie Ness

WE DID IT! And I think everyone in attendance will remember Judy, or in the very least remember
someone they love like that. We created a wonderful remembrance in honor of Judy, and Fred challenged everyone to be a Judy,-be that colorful person who never backs down.