Old ways won't open new doors

IT"S 2018!!!
What a great year it is going to be!

I would like everyone to take a moment and think about this..........

Old ways

won't

open

new doors....

Many people like to start a brand new year off with hopeful intentions toward their life goals (New Year Resolutions) ....a house, maybe a spouse, weight loss, repair a damaged relationship, better health, learning to read, maybe not living paycheck to paycheck, achieving their diploma or starting a family....the list is endless. All that I've mentioned, incidentally,  is possible to anyone with the correct recipe.

I rarely make new Year resolutions. If I want something to change in my life, I can and will just  do it at any time, not just at the start of a beginning. My year is full of lots of beginnings, middles and ends. The cycle of things is what I love about life. The lows make the high moments even more memorable!

So let's get back to the saying "Old ways won't open new doors".

If you have a dream or a goal,
                                               realize it,
                                     recognize 
                                         and implement the necessary changes.

I would not be where we are today, had I not believed I could achieve my dreams or that I deserved them! We welcomed our little rainbow Finn as she entered our realm in our very own bed! In post partum state, I hiked over sixty-five miles with the majority being above 6,500 feet and with our 14 year old and newborn in tow! We had some amazing conversations! I am now producing enough thyroid hormone ON MY OWN that I am off all medications! I was chosen by a company to highlight my artwork on their apparel and accessories! I am 60% fluent in a aecondary language!  I kept up this blog and talk to people all over the world answering questions  about thyroid issues, fitness, energy work or just making a human connection that they arent alone with their health issues.

The following steps work with many scenarios - the only exception being repairing a broken relationship or anything to do with the free will of someone else. You cannot nor “should not” want to control other people. Nothing good or fulfilling can come from such an act. You can heal yourself from damaged relationships or change  the way you exchange with other people by acceping that it is futile  to resort to categorizing instances of being  “ right or wrong”. You can choose to argue or not argue and you can choose to be open or to just be passive aggressive, never being direct about your requests besides complaining  and allowing yourself to falsely believe that your behavior is giving you an edge. But those behaviors will not repair or rebuild. You continue to allow yourself to wear your mask.

So on to the positive lesson of wchieving your goals....realize. Allow yourself to explore your desires. Even if they seem unattainable or far from reach! Dream! It doesn't have to be big - maybe you've been quietly watching life all around you and you just want to participate! Maybe you've always been meaning to learn a new hobby. Maybe you need to feed your body different fuel to be healthier. Or you might want to learn a new language or take that trip you've talked about.

Recognize and rationalize the goal and visualize success. Look at all the parameters, obstacles and time associated with a plan. Read and explore. Be realistic. There may be several steps to make a little forward movement.

Lastly, implement those parameters that you need to achieve! THAT'S IT! Admittedly, saying it out loud is the first step...words have power! Believe! Now go achieve and celebrate all the small and big victories along the way!

So what new doors are you looking for in 2018?
Drop me a line and let me know! Connect!

From our family to yours....May your 2018 be everything you could possibly imagine!

Biscuits are for Rainbows!

   Fall is upon us in the Northern hemisphere - chill is making an appearance as the leaves invite us to see the beauty of the changing cycles of our world.

My ad campaign for October :) I designed

check me at Crisawesomeness Designs 

     October marks the time for us to begin slowing down, earlier evenings, warm meals and hearty laughs, sipping hot tea and cocoa, settling in on the American League's  pennant race in the hopes of another NY Yankee win....walking in nature and enjoying the last fleeting moments before the snow falls and silences the landscape.

Hiking in the beautiful 

Black Hills, South Dakota

St. Elmo's Peak

 October is also a month to spread awareness for Miscarriage and Infant Loss with  pink and blue ribbons.

I

am

1 in 4.

   Those are words I don't take lightly, I am the face of miscarriage and so is my husband.

We are survivors, we are warriors. My family is the face of Infant Loss.  I want  to spread awareness for those who suffer  agonizing over  the loss of their baby, whether their baby was full term,  or just innocently hanging out in your womb, whether you held your baby or just heard a heartbeat. We are a part of a community that knows how to proceed on, live and think of the could haves. We are part of a family that silently gets annoyed by those who unknowingly say phrases to make themselves feel secure when you finally  let your true feelings come out and exhibit uncomfortable sorrow that day. We have heard other people's reasons for our babies leaving too soon, and not finding comfort in any reason that is presented to us. We quietly reflect on the anniversaries of our baby's birth and death every year whether it happened last year or 30 years ago. We move on somehow and little things trigger a memory that transport us in time for a moment. We are no longer the person we used to be - and that is hard for some people who know us.

  

Some days we shine.

Some days we try.

Some days we struggle

and some days we don't. 

Fun with Autumn Leaves!

   We welcomed our rainbow baby this March and we feel overwhelmed ....  so fortunate, so lucky, so blessed. There are so many families that are still trying for their rainbow, or have decided the road to rainbow is too difficult.  However, we  still are a part of this beautiful community of hopeful and strong  people and forever will be.
   In honor and to raise awareness, here is a delicious herbal teething biscuits recipe I tweaked  for nearly any little one....they are gluten free, egg free and nut free :) The coconut flour provides a wonderful source of fiber (it doesn't add a coconut flavor either), molasses  is rich in  Iron, Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Copper, and Vitamin B6 while coconut oil provides medium-chain fatty acids!

Rainbow Biscuits
1 cup gluten free baking flour
1/2 cup coconut flour 
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup pear puree
3 tablespoons coconut oil
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon or cardamom seeds (powder)
1 1/2 tablespoons blackstrap molasses
Herbed sugar for dusting

Mix all ingredients thoroughly and shape the biscuits by hand for easy grabbing. Lightly dust with herbed sugar - we used lemon verbena sugar I made from our garden last week for a nice citrus twist. Place on cookie sheet and bake one and a half hours at 275 degrees.
Let cool and then pop them in the freezer and use as needed for sore gums!

Blessings!

Life can be ironic

  Hey everybody!

   We are in the third trimester and it's been a while since I've posted...I was reminded by our teenager that she hasn't been able to read anything about us for a while and it was time. There has been something come up it seemingly daily and it's all we can do to just buckle down and deal.

Let me break it down for you....

Right around the beginning of December, I began cramping, spotting...for those of you that has miscarried before, I don't have to tell you how breathless that makes you feel as you try to figure out what is going on. The baby had noticeably dropped and we were in our doctor's office the very day. After being poked and prodded and questioned, it was decided that I needed to stay off my feet a little more. I had to say good-bye to my job at the brewery for a while. The spotting immediately cleared up and we adjusted to me being at home all the time. I'm quite a busy individual so it has been an adjustment! We didn't know it at the time, but I was headed into anemia, if not already there.
   As we were gearing up for the holidays ahead, my grandpa after months of being in and out of an ill state, took a turn. Thankfully, the regional  hospital is  in our neighborhood and we made frequent use of him being within five minutes of our house. He was a great spirits the last few days we saw him....little did we know our family would be assembling the following week for his bedside vigil into the next realm. We were very close with him and cleaned his house, bought his supplies and just made sure he was taken care of before we moved away from our hometown four years ago. We have so  many fond memories of that wonderful man and made great use of his time while we lived near him.

   The week of his dying ritual as the family began assembling, the weather here got extremely cold. I was in and out of the doctor's office and it was determined my troubles were a combination of being anemic and the wrathful return of my asthma. I hadn't been on an inhaler in over a decade! I had days and days of being winded crossing the room and really not being able to sleep due to feeling like I couldn't breath. Not a great time to get emotional...it was quite a balancing act to ensure my health and the health of our little one would endure. It was difficult even holding a conversation, I was so winded. I tried to comfort our daughters as much as I could and my husband did his best to convey the messages I felt were key in this situation...he had a wonderfully good life and he has been ready to move onto the next stage. There were times I couldn't even get an updated text from my family without bursting into a wet face.  A time in my life I won't soon forget. Trying to remain calm and level headed in such a sad time was so difficult...especially with pregnancy hormones raging through my system. I simply tried to focus on the positive in all around me and my little family was such a big help. Without asking, my husband's shoulder and chest were instantly there to bury my face into whenever the moment hit me...which was quite often. I'm a silent crier, so much of my cues are just simply watching---especially since I had no extra breath to tell tall tales or even convey the sorrow I was feeling.
   My family really worried about the funeral and the timing of my Grandpa's passing. Life can be quite ironic. I gave birth to our first born, Keira, the day after my other Grandpa's funeral. I had to endure his death in an extremely pregnant state. The timing is a little different here, but I will have endured my other Grandpa's death before the birth of our last child. My parents worried preterm labor was eminent. The doctors have had us in and out of their offices lots...three unscheduled appointments and probably counting! Honestly, it's a great sense of relief for us. We know our little is doing spectacular.
   Which brings me to one of the new experiences we've had....the non-stress test. This was given in our doctor's office after I had to call in because we were having too many contractions and after not sleeping in about 48 hours. They put two sensors on your belly - one on the baby's heartbeat, and one on your uterus to monitor for contractions. They also give you a little button to push whenever you feel your baby move. Our baby performed beautifully for the test. There was no stress when my contractions would come. Great news! Also my cervix hasn't changed so it was another good sign that things are going the way they need to. The only one uncomfortable in the situation was me and it turns out I had a case of the flu along with my symptoms so it was no wonder I was uncomfortable and having some preterm conditions.
   Our latest ultrasound showed the Wee Ness was roughly four pounds and one ounce last week. Each week brings us closer to getting to see our little miracle. With having to be homebound and then bed bound a few days to get on top of hydration and contractions, we already know so much about her/him. The sleep schedule is very apparent and he/she has very personal interactions with each member of our household.
Before I got really sick, I made a few items for us to put in our hospital bag...matching labor gear and a Wonder Woman nursing gown!

   Now that my anemia seems to be heading in the right direction and my asthma is controlled, I plan on having a little more energy to keep things updates on here :)
Blessings all!

My first SIGNATURE COLLECTION went live!

   Yes friends from around the globe...my art has taken on WORLDWIDE status!

My Designer Label

I have finally  hit the mainstream! It wasn't expected, I wasn't strolling down that avenue really---it just happened!!! My first official SIGNATURE COLLECTION of bags and women's accessories went live last night at around 8:00 p.m. MST. Preorder my designs and VIDA will make them!

PLEASE CHECK IT OUT HERE!
Enjoy 15% off your purchase using code Welcome15
OR
Enjoy $50 off your purchase of $250+ using code Welcome50
Expires in just 7 Days, on 12/07/16.

  
   I am beyond  thrilled ---maybe over the moon--- to share with you my latest collection on VIDA!
This collection represents some of my best artwork from over the past two years and is very authentic to who I am as an artist. I'm really proud today to share this work with you. It includes selections from my canvas artistry to my photographic elemental collection.
  I'm really excited to collaborate with VIDA for this collection. VIDA is a new kind of fashion ecommerce company that connects artists like me all over the world with producers to bring our work to life. For every product sold, VIDA hopes to provide the gift of literacy to the makers they work with. I'm very proud to be in partnership with this company! A percentage of every sale goes to an artist like myself, to the manufacturer and also to the employees in the small facilities they work with to provide the skills for them to learn to read, write and do basic math. Many of these employees are women.  To learn more about VIDA's story, click this link.

I hope this post find you and yours well as we in the Northern Hemisphere close in on the Winter Solstice bringing the promise of the light and those of you in the Southern Hemisphere with thoughts of the romantic longer evenings ahead of you.

BLESSINGS!

Bonding: A struggle of pregnancy after loss

  One of the cold, hard truths of suffering a miscarriage or multiple miscarriages is that bonding with your unborn is delayed...sometimes weeks, months or until after the birth. A couple or family will find it very difficult to bond when they've had to endure such a horrific tragedy. The fear of loving that little growing person takes a mighty grip on your soul. Even if you've spent years trying to conceive, the hard reality of losing the very thing you have been working toward can take its emotional tole on you.

   You tell yourself you are going to pretend nothing is going on and resume life as usual, still going through the motions of pregnancy....but not talking about it. You secretly countdown the days of the "dangerous" time of pregnancy. Pretty soon, you are in that 1% bracket of pregnancies that end in miscarriage and you still really can't celebrate BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN THE 1%.
   You keep the pregnancy to yourselves, not wanting to make yet another mass announcement that a piece of you has died, never to return. You don't want the awkward conversations or the ones supposed to make you feel better, but only make you feel worse. There's no funeral for your created miracle and there are several terms they refer to your baby as terms other than "baby" and your life is changed forever. You are never the same person that you were, and this happens after EACH miscarriage.
   I wanted this pregnancy to be celebrated...it is a life we created, in strength, courage and hope. And we have celebrated from the start. We told a small teeny tiny circle of people and went about reminding ourselves to breath and try to enjoy every moment of this little life. As much as we wanted to shout it from the rooftops, like our expecting friends and family were doing, we kept to ourselves....because it is our little family's journey.
   When I started showing, I opened up more to the people around me. I talked about my baby and remained positive. Some know our history, some do not. Some say quirky things that are innocent but naive and some tell me daily how brave we are. Some just give me uplifting smiles...and they are appreciated.
   I believe we are coping fairly well...I've documented this pregnancy from the start, photos, memorabilia, this blog. But as time has gone on, we still are being very private about this exciting life we've created. Are we not bonding with our baby?....We have been preparing for the arrival as a family though...working on sewing diapers, putting together storage, holding the belly and talking to the little person inside. We've done maternity photo sessions, prepared where the baby will be, talked about how to be big a big sister when you've been the baby for 13 years, or how parenting will go for us, bought books on birthing methods. My husband has now told a few of his customers that we are expecting a baby complete with pictures and tales.

   And as scary as it sounds, I'm opening up to the idea of a baby shower. You may laugh when I say scary, but it is to people pregnant after loss. What are we supposed to do with the baby's stuff given to us if we don't get to bring our baby home again? What does life look like after that?
   The subject of bonding with the unborn came up in one of my online support groups for hypothyroid moms and dads and parents who've lived through what we have. Some of them were truly struggling with bonding...they even had difficulty talking to their little miracle. Some support given instructed them to make big announcements as early as possible, that this life is worth celebrating, to use this time to get into the subject of how this baby is a baby from the start. Some brought forth their religious values to this subject and in turn caused controversy.
   It got me thinking about if our little baby was being "neglected" because of our past history. I began worrying that we might not be bonding with our baby because we haven't made a big announcement or I wasn't allowing anyone to plan a baby shower yet...but after looking back at how we've planned, laughed, privately celebrated and have been preparing, I think we are doing just fine in that department.
   My conclusion.....Don't fall into the idea that you need to make a statement for the world. Just be. Prepare how you chose to. Do what you feel is right for you....it's your journey!

Blessings!

Just breathe: another milestone hit

Pregnancy after Loss

"Be Still. Close your Eyes. Breathe.

I am worthy of this baby."

  Yesterday, was a big day for us. It was a time of excitement, fear, joy and nervousness. It was our  20 week ultrasound appointment...a big occasion here in the United States for expecting families. It's a chance to view your little one, scrutinize at all the bone structures, organ structures and watch the antics of the little human you are growing. And on a side for us, it's a chance to look at the anatomy to see if you need to be preparing for a little hooligan of a boy or the excessive giggles of a little girl.

"Out of difficulties, grow miracles."

My daughter, story about her below, and I during

a DIY photo shoot in the Black Hills, South Dakota.

   We weren't quite sure how this appointment would go, the fear of the unknown and whatnot. You never quite recover from seeing a non-beating heart on that screen...the fear is always in the back of your mind.  I've also had excessive stress around me that could not be avoided---raising teenagers isn't for the weak hearted and they have lives of their own too.
   Our teen daughter made up her mind to make her own plans one evening without us knowing and after she didn't arrive home, I instantly knew something was amiss. I began calling, texting, driving to her activity center. This particular daughter always keeps us updated and would go out of her way to not make anyone worry. Long story short, I finally received a text from her after she was missing an hour saying that she had made a mistake, wrecked and totaled my four-wheel drive and was 50 miles from home in the forest in an area that had no cell phone coverage and that she needed help but was unsure where she was. My husband and I drove the deserted roads for three hours trying to find her. She somehow came out with only a concussion and bruising when she lost control of the vehicle and went over an 8 foot embankment, waking up in a running creek in the dark, in the middle of a desolate area. She had crawled out of the creek, and walked and ran in the dark  to the nearest homestead she could find to be able to use WIFI to text. I'm so thankful to report she is alive and well....and currently grounded. The stress levels with that were well beyond overload.
   I rested and slept as much as I could to recover from that horrible night. haha She is so sorry beyond words and with the anticipation of the Wee Baby Ness and  was just terribly worried her teen actions would hurt her sibling. The weekend that followed held a beautiful  reminder for our family as the Wee Baby Ness kicked hard all that night so everyone could feel the little miracle. It was a nice reminder that we had everything that was really important safe and sound in our home with us...the situation could have easily been horrifying.

Our awesome teen

   This past month, I have incorporated my Vitamin B Complex back into rotation, to see if that indeed had any merit on my pregnancy metabolism. I'm thrilled to report that it did! I gained only two pounds this month and my blood pressure is right on target.

20 weeks and

counting blessings

   The thirty minute scan was amazing. Our baby is growing and measuring right where she/he needs to be! We saw movement all the time, little glimpses of the personality as he/she dealt with the intruding machine on it's cozy home. Our sonographer took us through every step, telling us what she was looking at and throwing in the occasional "Cute!" comment.

Namaste from the Wee Baby Ness

We got about 10 shots for us to take home on disc or fingers, feet, faces, the entire body. It was a very enjoyable time watching the facial movements, waving arms, fingers grasping, eye rubbing.  Our baby measures about 14 ounces...that's on the heavy end of weight gains. This looks like it could be a challenge later for my 5'3", used to be 120 pound frame...time will tell!

Our daughter Keira

and the belly

   The other members of our family are doing very well! Our middle school-aged daughter had her first art exhibition and show and our other daughter is nursing her first broken heart from a break-up from aone and a half year relationship...we've got lots of going ons in our household this past month!

Talking with Dah!

Celtic Reiki and me: Treehugger deluxe edition

   Yesterday was a big day...I was completing the LAST double (double serving shift) at the Firehouse Brewery, also remembering the thousands of people who lost their lives on 9/11 in the USA fifteen years earlier, but I also completed my attunement for Reiki Level 2 Practitioner in Celtic reiki.

....also I felt our Wee Baby Ness move around all day! It's always a surprise to feel your little moving about in there at first. It started with a faint internal poke, then again. An hour later, yup, I felt the sensation again. It's official---I'm manifesting and growing the mighty Thor at 14 weeks LOL! I've been feeling our little one all day today too. There's no denying our excitement as we are in the second trimester!

   What is Celtic reiki? I sure hadn't heard of it and I'm in the Reiki business. As soon as I stumbled upon it, I knew it was exactly what I needed to be into. This form of reiki differs a little from traditional reiki in attunement so as well as knowledge of meridians in the body for body work, it also utilizes other energies to accomplish healing.  I am of Viking ancestry...there's no denying it, I am always drawn to that root. I've always had a healthy relationship with trees and plants, even as a child. My parents would remark about my "green thumb". After reading about how I would be attuned to the vibrations of the trees and plants, I knew.  This was what I've been looking for! 

Practitioners of Celtic reiki, also known as Bio-energy healing, believe that the power of the universal life force can be enhanced by calling upon additional energy forms that are connected to the earth and things of the natural world. Combinations of different life form vibrations, like in trees and plants, will make a healing or goal manifestation session most effective. In essence, we believe we are ALL connected.

   There are three distinct types of healing energies: earth derives energies, the second is manifestation  energies and the third is master healing energies. A Celtic reiki session usually last up to an hour and utilizes the placing of hands that will trigger a deep state of relaxation.

   Celtic reiki can be used in healing as well as goal manifestation. These are achieved through meditation practices. These meditation practices can encourage an energy flow in such a way that a person's goals are realized on the physical plane. 

   I will be achieving my Master in Celtic Reiki soon and will be bringing that to the Black Hills area. In this day and age, folks need all the help they can get with their day to day lives. 

Still hesitantly excited...and 10 weeks pregnant!

   We are in our tenth week of pregnancy....let me say that again! WE ARE IN OUR TENTH WEEK OF PREGNANCY! It really has flown by! Since I've last written, we've had our first in-person doctor visit complete with ten vials of blood and an ultrasound.

   The ultrasound....I knew we would be getting one but I didn't tell Clayton until we got there. That is very scary for couples that have experienced miscarriage. The last two ultrasounds I saw was first our deceased baby and then the next was an image of an empty womb. A sight you are supposed to be relieved to see, showing that everything had passed and I would be recovering, but that is not what you want to see at all deep in your heart of hearts. I would've given my existence to save that baby. Our ultrasound tech was perfect and was very very compassionate to our case. She was with us through it all before. We began, both of us not really looking at the projection on the television. "OK...see? ....See that little flickering right here? That's your baby's heart and it is flickering strong! Here is the head and here is the rump....now that we can all breath in here, I'm going to get started with my tests, OK?" She had her perfect bedside manner, as usual.

   After we were alone, I admitted that right before the test, I felt panic. My body hadn't changed much and I was twinged with fear of the empty womb. Clayton admitted he felt the same...we are so much alike at times. That moment of the flickering heart, the baby became real for him.

Our baby's flicker of a heart. Our chances of miscarriage statistically have dropped to  two  percent.

We've been in that two percent before....hold your breath!

   The rest of the appointment was full of completing my charts and scheduling upcoming appointments, urine samples and blood sampling. I was anxious for the bloodwork, this was going to be the marker on whether to truly get excited or not....
   About a week later, all of my test came in and the fated call blew up my phone. "Cristina? This is _______ OBGYN. I have your test results and we have a couple of things to talk about."....my heart truly sank. This is how those previous phone calls have been that ended in miscarriage. I mumbled alright. "First off, your TSH is great so we aren't doing anything with your dosage at this time. It is 0.2 and that's right where we want it. Secondly, you do not have an immunity to Rubella, so you will need an immunization after you have your baby in the hospital, okay?" I smiled and said, "Woo hoo! Thank you so much!!"
WHAT A RELIEF! I scooted upstairs to let Clayton know the news and we wore secret smiles the rest of the day!

   As the days have progressed, my bloating is up and down, mood is up and down and the cravings combined with nausea...ranch corn chips with chocolate milk, peppers upon peppers with blue cheese, gluten free bagels with cream cheese, spoons of peanut butter and beef...OH THE BEEF!
   Now all of our children know and that is a relief. It is difficult to keep such an exciting, scary and adventurous secret! They were great and not too scared. It's scary watching mom get sick and having her struggle. It's hard being the sibling of a baby taken too soon---you don't get to have fun memories with them, you get an injured mom and dad, sadness, worry that your mom and dad will never be the same, (and they never are the same---everyone in the house is changed from this hard realization that some things aren't always rosy) and then there is the anger. Anger that this happened to your family. It's hard being that sibling. And many people don't even think about the children involved in those families. Those kids are being strong and waiting for their world, their parents, to not be broken in a million pieces, and some parents never recover. For us, as a couple, we got stronger. We've gone through the deaths of children and somehow lived to tell about it. We are shining after the storm. And our kids are simply beautifully amazing.
  To keep our lives as stress free as possible, we are keeping a lid on things still. We still aren't out of the woods yet, despite the large beams of light upon us, and we just want to keep our lives as routine as possible. Our stress levels depends on it! A lingering question for me is whether my Hashimoto's antibodies will remain inactive. That's key for our success as well and it is beyond my control besides taking my selenium supplement and staying away from my identified triggers like gluten and stress. I am developing my Reiki practice daily and the meditation is invaluable to me. I am writing this blog as we go as a record for others like us....gathering every speck of courage on this journey called Hashimoto's and Hypothyroidism.

Here's me and my Mini Cooper! My husband rebuilt the engine for me!

   With the cooler weather heading our way and the holidays coming up, we will have some decisions to make about public appearances and my possible exposure to Rubella. After the journey we've been on, we won't be taking that lightly. We do not want the chance of causing birth defects in our unborn little. I personally plan on avoiding areas where the chance of exposure is great and this includes family gatherings like weddings and birthday parties, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

10 weeks pregnant!

Believe in your journey!

The tests are in.....I'm freakishly fabulous!!

   For six long months, I've been in an active battle everyday. Every day, for the past six months, I've been an active commander-in-chief. Every minute, making a choice to better the predicament I was in. For those just joining me, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's last Summer after another grueling, painful, unwanted, emotionally deadening miscarriage. In a nutshell, being Hashimoto's means when my body encounters certain things, i.e. gluten, a common flu/virus, severe stress, it makes up a very kick ass army ...and it attacks body organs ---MY BODY ORGANS! These internal attacks can last from a few weeks to several agonizing and painful months of waking up daily in pain.
   For anyone that battles an autoimmune condition, test day is a big day. It takes a minimum of six weeks to alter medications and see if things are going in the direction you need them to go. We didn't know it, but I had vast internal damage in my gut that needed healing. Gut healing takes a minimum of six months. It is six months of being very regimented and on point. Six months of always thinking about what goes in your body for fuel, nutrients and hydration. Six months of not knowing if any of the sacrifices you are enduring are for anything. Six months of wishful thinking.
   The time had come to test. My friends and family wished me well right before I went in with "I got good feels about this!" to "You're amazing!" to "Let me know right away, okay? I love you." My support team is nothing short of fantastic. You'd think after all the blood work I've experienced the past two years, I would know what the person taking samples is called. I don't. I refer to these wonderful people as my pokers. This time my poker "Luanne" looked at my chart and giggled. "I just got a flashback from your chart! I graduated high school the exact day you were born!" I smiled and laughed and thought to myself of the wonderful exchange we just had and that this is good omen. She didn't hurt me either, another good omen.
   My blood tests take two days in a lab for results. I could go into extensive detail as to why, but that is a whole other blog subject! In essence, they must mix my blood with other components and see what reaction(s) happen. I was pretty patient for the wait, but my entourage was anxious! And then boom! Here they were.....
   After being six months on the same dosage of levoxithyroxine, going gluten free, adding supplements and minerals, building and installing infrared light therapy, routine therapeutic massage sessions, and enduring a long term  parasitic cleanse...I have exactly what I was working towards!

My levoxythyroxine dosage needs to be decreased again. It means that my thyroid gland is repairing itself and producing again.

My Thyroglubin Antibody test indicated that my Hashimotos is in REMISSION...for now. My antibodies are there but have been put on stand down. They can remain on duty floating through my system waiting to be reminded of their jobs for the next three years. And more recent data has come in that indicates that they were probably attacking other areas in my body too, we just haven't figured out where yet. I will always have Hashimoto's, the BEST I can shoot for is remission.

After my results came in, it was time to adjust again. Brain fog, appetite loss, vision changes seemingly hourly, loss of sleep...been through it before so it was just time to batten down the hatches for a brighter tomorrow. :) As usual, my soul partner, husband, solid foundation was amazing as we're my loving kids. I can't stress enough how thankful I am to have these people in my life.

I'm going on four weeks now and it is amazing!

Causes for extensive jubilation and celebration! I celebrated my birthday with the usual fanfare and simple joys! Believe in your journey!

Sunscreen for the rest of us: Recipe worth worshipping!

   I love being in the sun and I always have. Commercial sunscreen was called "tanning butter" when I was a kid. The people I idolized often used vegetable oil or baby oil to attract the sun's warmth, put themselves in generated light machines and were considered beauty....fast forward a few decades and we finally accept how harmful this is to our largest vital organ, our skin. More and more people are falling victim to Melanoma every year. And if you've been lucky enough to be diagnosed with an autoimmune condition like I have, just simply using deodorant or body lotion can wreak havoc on your endocrine system.

Faeryboop Friendly Sun Blocker
Available here....

   I've always been a huge proponent of max SPF sunscreen. Working as a lifeguard/instructor for an outdoor aquatic facility for over a decade, I always made darn sure my vital organ was covered. If not, the possibility of heat stroke, or exhaustion was a certainty. I wanted to use the sunscreen with the safest ingredients, but it just wasn't economically feasible.....until now!

I made my own SPF 45 WATERPROOF sunscreen with a few ingredients and about 30 minutes of my time. 

I'll tell you how to do it!

You can alter this recipe to your liking but here's what I did;

Gather up your ingredients
like beeswax, coconut oil and Shea butter

1/2 cup coconut oil
1/4 cup aloe or almond oil or carrot seed oil
2 Tbsp.-1/4 cup beeswax
1-2Tbsp. Shea butter
1 tsp. vitamin E oil
2 Tbsp. zinc oxide powder*
15-20 drops of your favorite essential oil(s)

* You MUST buy Non-Nano Zinc Oxide Powder for the recipe to be considered endocrine system healthy. Besides, you get to look like this when you are brewing it up!

Take caution when using powered zinc oxide!
Breathing the dust is very harmful!

Step one: Combine the coconut oil, aloe, beeswax, vitamin E oil and Shea butter in a double boiler. No worries if you don't have one! I improved with a saucepan and a big stock pot of boiling water. Making sure the surrounding water doesn't get into your saucepan mix by holding it just within the water.

Homemade double boiler

Step two: when the mix is well combined, remove from heat. Add essential oils and put on your mask!

Step three: While wearing your mask and brewing in a well ventilated area, add the zinc. Stir very well.

Step four: Pour in desired containers! Enjoy!

*****This sun block is amazing! It is long lasting, silky smooth and we love how we can customize it with our favorite ingredients.

Anti-Anxiety: Five things that gotta give for happiness

   Hey everybody! I'm still here :) I've had quite a bit going on from school events, art passions, to a work situation to doing the impossible....throwing a birthday party for our daughter for over 25 people to attend...in our home! And we all survived, including me! AND the best part was the exciting activities didn't evoke a flare from the outer reaches of hell.

The beginning of a

cocoa nib GF birthday cake

   I am going on month 6 of a complete dietary change of removing gluten, cutting down on soy because of my thyroid medication and incorporating a rash of supplements to help my body function "normally"....well like everybody else anyways. The changes I've noticed Hashimoto's has most likely plagued me my entire life, so this new me takes some getting used to! Every day I've decided is an adventure!

Summer's favorite-Cocoa Nibs and Lavender

in my own inner workings haven't been my kind of normal ever! We've come to learn that my
   Which brings me to the topic of the day---just what brings happiness? Is it a person, is it a place or is it maybe a something? Being on a Hashimoto's journey puts things in perspective for a person and for their whole family. Hashimoto's is a mostly invisible disease that can be seen through blood work. A Hashi person can explain all day to healthy folks what it is like. At best, the usual outcome is sympathy rather than empathy and then there are those  that simply won't believe because of their ignorance and lack of an empathetic soul. It can make for a frustrating, uncomfortable and humble existence until you decide on just being happy.

My book I wrote, illustrated, edited and compiled

arrived! And it's Chica approved!

    5 Things That You Need To Give Up to Be Happy

I know! I'm telling you that you need to give up a few other things on your Hashimoto's journey that you haven't already.

1) Dwelling on the past.
We can all sit around a lament that we can't eat that big fat cinnamon roll, or maybe all we really want is a nice cold malt beer with the crew after work. Yeah I'd love to be able to sit down at a restaurant and not spend the entire time worrying and watching for the signs to begin that I've been "glutened" (and for me that means I'll be spending the next 12-20 hours swollen everywhere, in excruciating joint pain and sleeping in a pool of my own sweat). I like to center on how fulfilled my life has become and I've accepted that I am a person with a chronic illness. Does this mean my life ended as I know it? On the contrary! My life began because I learned how to be me and know my own code---I'm not as sick as I used to be!

2) Negative Self Talk
It's easy to get in the habit of getting annoyed with the little tweaks and pains associated with this or any autoimmune condition. Nobody enjoys fluctuating internal temperatures, body inflammation, skin so dry it cracks and bleeds, hair loss, never ending waves of nausea, ringing ears, I could go on, but you get the idea.

This is how I measure my hair loss

every week.

Giving yourself negative talk puts negativity in motion. "I suck!" or "Ugh look at that fat roll!" or "I'm such an idiot!" All of these comments do nothing to forge you forward and only hold you captive in a negative space.

3)Complaining

   This condition puts me in yet another higher category for heart disease, among several others.  I was feeling disgusted and was talking that over with my husband as I huddled in our bed under  a cozy, luxurious blanket. "You have always been active and made health a priority, right," said my husband. A muffled "yeah" came from my blanket fort we've knick-named 'Kick-Ass'. "Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe, you are still here on this earth with me because you are one of those people.  The ones that took such good care of your health through diet and exercise before you were diagnosed that you are one of the ones that actually made it and not one of those you hear of that died on the treadmill underaged  and were the epitome of health...maybe those folks had

Hashimoto's and just didn't get diagnosed in time." I was quiet and then sincerely gave my thanks.  I didn't take the time to think of it like that because I was too disgusted to keep being informed of all health diseases that are linked to this condition. Since that realization, I marvel at myself! I always thought I was pretty amazing but now - WOW! I kick some booty :)  I'm still here and that is something to celebrate! Everything else people complain about are really small and quite frankly, most of the small stuff you can change.

"A New Life"

by Cris Ness

4) The Need To Impress Others
   When my husband and I first met, we were talking about good deeds. The discussion went on about if there is really such a thing as a good deed without strings attached...can a good deed be done without the need to feel superior about doing said deed. Something that we continue to ponder and banter about :) Thinking about that got us thinking about how good deeds might be done to impress people and therefore it is not a good deed. The need to impress friends, family, neighbors, school mates and coworkers...
    Anyhow, most likely it took several things to happen to you  to FINALLY get diagnosed with Hashimoto's. In Western medicine, it takes the failing of some organ to see it has been under siege  being attacked by you for quite some time even though several symptoms were probably there and now your own body has  nearly killed part of  itself.

Or maybe you've had some trouble conceiving or you've gotten pregnant a few times only to go through the devastating scene of losing a child due to your condition. In these cases, it's really easy  to not care after events like these. You really aren't in a position to care who has the newest car on the block, who is wearing designer clothes, or if the fact that someone didn't "like" one of your pictures or posts means that you should worry the person may or may not be upset with you. You have no time to worry about these things because you are learning about the new rules for you. That and you are battling fatigue that encompasses all your days and nights until you get on top of your Hashimoto's and all the components of it.

5) The Need For Other's Approval
   I've said it before and I'll scream it from the highest Alp, I'm the luckiest woman in the world. My family is the most compassionate and caring people for me. I'm blessed to have everything in my life. We love each other, we celebrate our differences, we try to be empathetic and in most cases we are fairly successful. Is our family perfect? Nope, but it certainly is perfect for us. With autoimmune conditions like Hashimoto's, unless folks are practically living with you, they won't 'see' your disease. They won't experience an anxiety attack, they won't see the 18 hours you sleep when you 'aren't feeling well' and they won't notice the brain fog associated with it. This separates the friends from the acquaintances. This disease has shown me who my real people are and who are the ones that can't see beyond their own glass lives. I can thank my condition for that-it's a glorious thing to be alive and not striving for other's approval.

Pictured left to right, daughter Summer, daughter Sydnie,

Me, daughter Keira, and my parents Daryl and Meri Jo.

There you have five. You have five ideas to churn over and see if you can find your happiness. Look at yourself and see if changing any of these five things can make an impact in your life. It really has in mine and has been a big pull in my recovering with my Hashimoto's and Hypothyroidism. I hope it helps you - even if you don't have a chronic illness, these five things can help you find your happiness!

Interested in my newest book? It's adorable!
Click here


Blessings Lovlies :)

Messages from the Red Planet: Infrared Sauna Therapy

"Divine Waves In  Me"

   This week's subject: Infrared Therapy Saunas and how easily and affordable it is to have in your own home. After reading several documents and scientific papers on the effects of "red light therapy" on the human body and how it can help my Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, I set on the journey of how to build a portable unit for my home. The benefits of infrared therapy are vast. On my road to recovery from my latest Hashimoto's Thyroiditis flare, centering on key healing points is essential. Detoxification, pain relief, stress and balancing body chemistry are the key points to this plan and the answer that hits all of those points is the infrared sauna.

Sweating is a perfect way to rid the body of unwanted toxins. But what if you can't exercise due to illness or injury? The infrared sauna is your answer!

   Just what is a sauna? There are several types of saunas and the one that is most prevalent in the United States, where I live, is the Finnish style of sauna that is known as a steam sauna. Steam saunas utilize water on a heat source that creates steam to heat a closed off unit or area where a person is sitting or laying. They can take up for 30 minutes to heat up for usage and unless you want to plunk hundreds of dollars into a unit, it is not feasible....I'm leaning more in the price range of under $100 to see if it really works.

   My search started to become a reality when I learned just how easy it is to build an infrared sauna in your home. After looking into the basic materials I would need, I set out and had my own sauna in two hours. With just a wood board, three porcelain "chick" heating lamps and three infrared bulbs (both of these items can be found at a farm supply store, hardware store of online)  and a frame with heavy material used as an enclosure, a small ceramic heater and a temperature gauge  I had in my closet and I was cooking!

   I installed my new healthy infrared sauna (basically a wood board with three lamps attached to in inside a curtain of fabric) in my basement. No worries for me about a fire hazard besides making sure the fabric wasn't touching the lamps or the heater. I sat in the radiant heat with my workout bikini on because it is essential to have as much as your skin being exposed to the therapeutic waves. Remember to not look directly into the bulbs but other than that, I read a book and chatted with my outside world :). Also, you must rotate your body every five minutes for maximum benefits.

If you are new to infrared saunas, it is recommended that you start with 4 minutes sessions in 160-180 degrees Fahrenheit and work your way towards 30 minutes sessions.

   After my first session, which I stayed in for 25 minutes, I reached a level of relaxation that I've only been able to achieve through therapeutic massage. My skin was soft and silky. I felt refreshed and centered. I couldn't wait until my next session. Two days later, I again went in my DIY sauna and the result were the same. I also had some very sore muscles from my previous yoga session and I came out with no soreness at all! In 30 minutes, my muscles were not sore or stiff.

   There are three types of bulbs you can chose from: Near, middle or far.

• Near infrared bulbs are best used for wound healing and immunity boost.
• Middle infrared bulbs are designed for increasing circulation and promoting muscle relaxation.
• Far infrared bulbs are suited best for detoxification.

After three sessions, the verdict is in! Infrared saunas are an essential tool for anyone's health arsenal, not just for chronic illness sufferers. With just a few minutes three times a week, the body's immune response can be boosted, cortisol levels can become balanced and stress will melt away with the sweat running down your body. People can even use this tool to get over viruses and infections  more timely and boost your immunity for infections...and this therapy has been found in some cases to affect and kill cancer cells.

   Of course, as with any treatments, be mindful of your body. You know your body best. With this therapy there is risk of heat exhaustion. Watch yourself for light headedness or dizziness or clammy skin ( you will be sweating, but it feels cold and clammy, get out immediately).

   Do yourself a favor and think of ways to incorporate this in your home, especially if your health conditions make it difficult for you to exercise! People even set this portable system in their bathtub and then remove it and store it in a closet. It's so versatile and easily one of the best ways to help your body to heal and function at the best level it can!

And Ill close this post with a word to my fellow Hashimotians: BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN HEALTH! Read, read, read. Try a new avenue to a better you and although you aren't the person you used to be, you can become a better version on this new person you've become. Hashimoto's is a personalized, invisible illness. Become your own crusader---even if all you can do is be a crusader from the comfort of you bed at times, we've all been there!

Really, I am a fierce WARRIOR!!!

   I've always been an active person...swimming, yoga, running 10k, teaching cardio and water yoga classes, volunteering at local schools in the running department...yes I'm active. Many times I would be contacted via online or text to give someone the push needed to get off the couch and I will gladly do it! After all, I needed to work out that day too...I treated every day as a new exciting chapter and I included exercise as part of my daily ritual. It kept my mood light, I felt good about myself and I knew those pesky pounds would stay away! My scale could be two pounds light or heavy depending on the hour, so despite the aches and pains, I thought a girl has to do what a girl has to do! I needed to be a shining example to our daughters, coworkers and family...fitness is where it's at! Below is daughter Sydnie and I doing partner yoga at one of our favorite lakes where we live. The next shot is me, 40 years old, at the aquatic managment position I held for 10 years.

   Since my Hashimoto's diagnosis in the beginning of 2016, I've spent much of my time and energy on learning how to deal with this autoimmune condition. I am finally ready to admit I have chronic pain with my condition. My usual routine of dealing with this was through yoga, spiritual teachings and absolutely no medication. I never lined up for over-the-counter remedies. I always believed mind over matter. Eventually, I would become so run down, I might be laid up in bed for three days, possibly put on anxiety medication and told to alleviate stress. Soon, I would pick myself back up and start my daily rituals again.
   Chronic pain is not something you'll hear me talk about much. I keep my aches and pains to myself.  My philosophy is that whining about it will do nobody in my life any good and that includes me. Once I've admitted the many, many ways I hurt, my awesome family can now recognize the signs of me having a "bad" day....slightly puffy eyes, moving just a half step slower than my regular speeding. People at work might ask me if I have got enough sleep because I look tired. When I hear these things, that means it's time for me to identify what's going on to stay on top of my Hashimoto's.

   This is me and my fierce and feisty, sweet and loving girl, Chica, cuddling and resting like I sometimes need to. See my thyroid eyes ;)
  I battle inflammation in my joints daily. I control the inflammation with a morning cocktail! No I'm not binging alcohol but a lovingly mixed drink of 4 oz. Orange juice, 1 tsp turmeric powder, 1/8 tsp cream of tartar, 1/8 tsp pink sea salt, 1/8 tsp black pepper...this is a refreshing treat for my adrenal glands and hits my inflamed joints! Depending on the day, I may indulge in this amazing wonder drink up to three times a day. Incorporating turmeric in my body has changed my life! Last month, I swam the butterfly stroke for 20 minutes and my shoulders haven't been able to perform that stroke in a decade!
   Experts are finding that although exercise is very important for Hashimoto's people, it is also important to allow the down time for your body to heal. With a very anxious, worried mind and a rather large gulp, I cut back my workouts to 2 to 3 times per week. I watched and I waited. With the extra time that I normally devoted to myself, I continued to center on me by resting and researching while I did it. I've invested lots of my time to healing my immune system through autoimmune dietary changes and incorporating vitamin and mineral supplements to balance my systems.
   Results aren't immediate, and once you've started on the Hashimoto's road, you'll quickly discover results are seen in minimum 6 weeks to 3 months. Change is slow. I try to remember I didn't get this way overnight. My family supports my healing process. They see many many more good days happening. There's no shame in becoming the champion cuddle warrior to help speed the process of healing from the inside out....while I daydream of participating in my private ironman competition.