Biscuits are for Rainbows!

   Fall is upon us in the Northern hemisphere - chill is making an appearance as the leaves invite us to see the beauty of the changing cycles of our world.

My ad campaign for October :) I designed

check me at Crisawesomeness Designs 

     October marks the time for us to begin slowing down, earlier evenings, warm meals and hearty laughs, sipping hot tea and cocoa, settling in on the American League's  pennant race in the hopes of another NY Yankee win....walking in nature and enjoying the last fleeting moments before the snow falls and silences the landscape.

Hiking in the beautiful 

Black Hills, South Dakota

St. Elmo's Peak

 October is also a month to spread awareness for Miscarriage and Infant Loss with  pink and blue ribbons.

I

am

1 in 4.

   Those are words I don't take lightly, I am the face of miscarriage and so is my husband.

We are survivors, we are warriors. My family is the face of Infant Loss.  I want  to spread awareness for those who suffer  agonizing over  the loss of their baby, whether their baby was full term,  or just innocently hanging out in your womb, whether you held your baby or just heard a heartbeat. We are a part of a community that knows how to proceed on, live and think of the could haves. We are part of a family that silently gets annoyed by those who unknowingly say phrases to make themselves feel secure when you finally  let your true feelings come out and exhibit uncomfortable sorrow that day. We have heard other people's reasons for our babies leaving too soon, and not finding comfort in any reason that is presented to us. We quietly reflect on the anniversaries of our baby's birth and death every year whether it happened last year or 30 years ago. We move on somehow and little things trigger a memory that transport us in time for a moment. We are no longer the person we used to be - and that is hard for some people who know us.

  

Some days we shine.

Some days we try.

Some days we struggle

and some days we don't. 

Fun with Autumn Leaves!

   We welcomed our rainbow baby this March and we feel overwhelmed ....  so fortunate, so lucky, so blessed. There are so many families that are still trying for their rainbow, or have decided the road to rainbow is too difficult.  However, we  still are a part of this beautiful community of hopeful and strong  people and forever will be.
   In honor and to raise awareness, here is a delicious herbal teething biscuits recipe I tweaked  for nearly any little one....they are gluten free, egg free and nut free :) The coconut flour provides a wonderful source of fiber (it doesn't add a coconut flavor either), molasses  is rich in  Iron, Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Copper, and Vitamin B6 while coconut oil provides medium-chain fatty acids!

Rainbow Biscuits
1 cup gluten free baking flour
1/2 cup coconut flour 
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup pear puree
3 tablespoons coconut oil
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon or cardamom seeds (powder)
1 1/2 tablespoons blackstrap molasses
Herbed sugar for dusting

Mix all ingredients thoroughly and shape the biscuits by hand for easy grabbing. Lightly dust with herbed sugar - we used lemon verbena sugar I made from our garden last week for a nice citrus twist. Place on cookie sheet and bake one and a half hours at 275 degrees.
Let cool and then pop them in the freezer and use as needed for sore gums!

Blessings!

Life's twists: Keeping your stress in check

Hi my fellow warriors, family and friends new and old!

First off - our love goes out to our friends in Florida & the Carolinas-heck, all of  the areas affected by Hurricane IRMA!

The world is with you.

   It's been a while since my last post....there has been much to process for our little family! No worries - everyone here is healthy and that is the best thing in the world! Our children grow and grow each day it seems and Clayton and I are too (in other ways). When life gets too cozy, curve balls are a must to keep things interesting, I guess.

   It's easy to get overwhelmed by the stress and let my autoimmune condition get the best of me. For those unfamiliar, anyone with an autoimmune condition that has a tremendous stress mounted on them  will begin to have immune system problems if steps aren't taken to relieve it. Sickness will mount in the form of  colds and flus until you can get back in control and put your stress in check. It's not only important for me but also my family that we spend a few moments every day for ourselves without the thoughts of what might be.

   There are strategies we can all utilize when life's situations can get up in your face and shake things up. Stress cannot be avoided, but it can be dealt with in a healthy manner.

Some tips from the National Institute of Mental Health include: 

• Recognize the Signs of your body's response to stress, such as difficulty sleeping, increased alcohol and other substance use, being easily angered, feeling depressed, and having low energy.
• Get Regular Exercise. Just 30 minutes per day of walking can help boost your mood and reduce stress.
• Try a Relaxing Activity. Explore stress coping programs, which may incorporate meditation, yoga, tai chi, or other gentle exercises. For some stress-related conditions, these approaches are used in addition to other forms of treatment. Schedule regular times for these and other healthy and relaxing activities.
• Set Goals and Priorities. Decide what must get done and what can wait, and learn to say no to new tasks if they are putting you into overload. Note what you have accomplished at the end of the day, not what you have been unable to do.

   A big change for me is not being employed at all this year besides the occasional freelance work....I've always held even a part-time job  (usually 2-3) as I raised the older girls and this is a new concept! How exciting and FUN it was to be able to just be a mom for a while. And then this happens--- your partner's position of over five years gets yanked with less than a week's notice..right 

around the day after his birthday. Sometimes timing stinks.

Thankfully, with both of us used to living on the edge with no real salary to speak of, we had a nice little cushion in the bank. After the initial panic subsided (and let me assure you - we are talking a few days), we tried to enjoy a little vacation time. It has been literally years since we've enjoyed even a weekend off together and even with the arrival of Finn, Clayton was granted three days off of work only. Such is the life of the hourly employed.

   This happened August 1st and it is now mid-September. We couldn't afford to spend too much while we wait for our opportunities to reveal themselves, so we chose to enjoy the scenery around the area we live. Hiking seemed to revive us and open our minds to big changes.

Chica, Finn and I

Lost Cabin Trail, Black Hills, South Dakota

     Clayton has secured a temporary position through a Veterans program  and we are so grateful for that. It is, however, significantly less an hour than what we are used to making and he has an hour commute each work day. We have all switched over to days....that's a big change. We always have enjoyed operating on a schedule that less people take. We loved operating in the minority.  Now we are a weekday family. I have lost my yoga and swimming partner for the time being. We get to swim together once a week - sometimes less due to our new schedule.

   There are positives that we have found with this scenario, however. We really had to sit down, examine  and be open about things we really want. We looked at  what we thought of ourselves, see how we saw ourselves in the mirror...our qualities, our experiences. We actually used this as yet another way to learn more about each other and somehow I think we appreciate the other even more....if that was possible! This was another instance that we were each other's solid foundation in another one of life's lovely whirlwinds. 

My person :)

   We both have been offered job opportunities and we are carefully deciding  if that is the direction we are thinking is best for us and our family. Some of my fellow Hashi warriors have reached out to me and I might be joining up with them on a little business venture....if I pull the trigger, you'll be hearing about it for sure!

    Hiking has been a great tool for me...I feel grounded, stronger, get fresh air and our girls really love being in the wilderness. It's great for all of us! We also have connected with friends with hiking - it's been a win/win.

Hiking a National Park a few hours

away from where we grew up.

Badlands National Park, South Dakota

Black Hills, South Dakota

Mommy & Me yoga at home

Hiking the Badlands with my pal Amy

Until next time!

Blessings!

Stay strong, my friends!

Dancing in the weeds

   For days I've been waiting for my VIDA collection to arrive...every day waiting in anticipation....and yesterday it finally did! My daughter, Summer, and I held a LIVE broadcast of us looking at the artful swag on my Facebook group Crisawesomeness Designs.

Please join it for updates! Lots of times I hand down savings given to me by VIDA on there. We had so much fun, we decided to make a regular habit of it and include my You Tube channel.

      We are planning a runway project with local make up specialists and representatives as well as hair dressers. I really think that's going to be a great networking, fun and creative process for us! Good times lie ahead!  Look for more details of that soon!
   My fall line is being developed and you can look forward to rich tones. In the meantime, enjoy!

Blessings!

Diapiers, nappies, rubber pants, pilchers, etc.

   We know ALOT about diapers these days. We strictly use cloth diapers in our day to day lives with a small exception for when we are on the go and rinsing isn't readily available. WE LOVE CLOTH DIAPERS! It really is no extra work, our home doesn't smell like a toilet bowl with air fresheners attempting to cover up the smells of ammonia and waste. And the best part of our experience with using cloth diapers is that our little wee girl has yet to have a diaper rash and she is nearing the 4 month old mark. On the occasions we do use commercial disposable diapers, we noticed how much they smell...bad. It smells of urine and plastic and things we do not want near our baby's skin. She is precious, darn it!
   To pass the time away while my body was the best home a body could be to our little lady, and mostly to take our minds off of the gut wrenching worry that our baby would leave us too soon,  we made our own cloth diapers. It really helped keep me positive and have a good outlook that our miracle was going to happen. I bought a wonderful design off of a mom on Etsy from UberDomestic and we couldn't be happier. The only hang up with this was our little wonderful girl  has been able to hold her urine and go huge amounts. I quickly made some cloth soaker inserts to add to our already All-In-One models and she still can bust the seams with wet! I began designing my own version for babies like her and I think I've finally perfected it.
  So, for my Earth loving Aussie girl Carly Gladwell down under, here are the steps to make the Ness cloth diaper. Enjoy the arrival of the new grand baby!
  OK for the outer waterproof layer, we used PUL fabric. It's amazing and easy to sew!
This is how we made an All-In-One diaper...all in one means that you do not need a waterproof cover or  add a soaker line, it's already on the diaperr. You can buy toss away liners but we installed a sprayer on the water line of our toilet and we can spray the diaper out as we go! It's AWESOME!!!

First off, cut out your patterns. You will have one waterproof layer, two diaper liner layers, your set number of soakers (we used zorb diaper fabric for that) and a catch layer for extra protection.

We used organic diaper liner bamboo fabric for the layer that touches the baby's skin.

This is the shape of the soaker...use as many as four layers but at least two for a minimum.

We sewed the soaker pads into the layer.

Then we added this lovely little catch layer. It has 1/8 inch elastic sewn into the sides to make a trough.

This is the same diaper, just with a fabric that you can see better. Sew the outer shell along the top back, leg holes to  the soaker piece together with a straight stitch.

Now add whatever elastic width you want with the elastic stretched to your desired bunching along the top back and leg holes.

Remember this piece? Now you are going to sew it using whatever stitch you are comfortable with to the outer shell of the diaper, making a complete one piece. Make sure the edges are tucked in and finished.

Finish the diaper with your desired fastener choice....we have used both snaps and Velcro. Velcro is wonderful for the new parent that is afraid of diapering but the snaps are amazing and is the choice for our household. 

Blessings and happy sewing! Enjoy the fresh air cloth diapers can provide!

Boobie Food Love

   Interesting and catchy title....and now that I have your attention, I will be talking about, you guessed it, breastfeeding. And now that I have weeded down the crowd a little bit more, I'm going to go a bit further and talk about breastfeeding and hashimoto's thyroiditis or any autoimmune condition for that matter.

Breastfeeding in our hammock

   When we started this rainbow journey, I was certainly afraid I might not be able to keep an ample milk supply for our Finn. I've worked for two years to tame my new-to-my-knowledge  friend Hashimoto's and thyroidism.  My new menu doesn't lend itself to a lot of fatty foods. I'm gluten free and proud of it! It was such a hard road to get clean from gluten....very depressing, very difficult, very much like a drug addict. Gluten is a protein found in wheat, rye, and barley and in some products.
   When my milk came in and became established after a few days of Finn's arrival, I checked my milk by pumping some and letting it sit and separate. This shows you how much fat content is in your breastmilk. I periodically check the content of my milk to ensure Finn is getting enough fat in her meals. It comforts me to see the consistency of the food my body produces for our baby.
   I've started taking sunflower lecithin to add healthy fats to my milk and it helps me produce more. I used to drink fennel tea once a week or so but my fat content wasn't improving. I was making more milk, but it was more like skim milk.  Sunflower lecithin is a type of phospholipid abundant in sunflower seeds. This fatty substance is obtained by dehydrating a sunflower seed and separating it into three parts: the oil, gum, and other solids. Lecithin comes from the gum byproduct of this mechanical process. It works for me within an hour and I've come to enjoy it in some of my snack I eat for healthy breastfeeding.
   Which brings me to these wonderful brekky treats that my whole family enjoys!

Gluten Free Monster Brekky Bars

Ingredients:
3 cups gluten free old fashioned oats
1 egg
1 cup raw sugar
3 tbsp. molasses
1 tsp baking soda
2 1/2 cups peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla extract (I make my own)
1/2 cup  sunflower lecithin
1 cup carob bits or chocolate chips
2 cups mini m&ms if you desire and I really do

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray your cooking dish with coconut oil.

In a large bowl, blend  molasses, lecithin and sugar. Beat in peanut butter, egg, and vanilla. Mix until light and fluffy. I did this by hand. Add the oats and baking soda and stir well. Stir in the chocolate goodies.

Pour into the prepared pan and spread into an even layer. Bake 30-40 minutes until puffed, golden brown and mostly set in the center. Do not cook until it is all the way set or the bars will be dry. Cool completely in the pan and then cut into bars and serve. Bars may be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for up to five days. I like to keep mine in a cool place.

This yummy bar ensures I get plenty of antioxidants, vitamins and minerals  for my diet. The oats are a super food for breastfeeding moms. Rolled Oats consist of magnesium, zinc, fiber, phosphorus, selenium, and manganese. Oats are also packed with Vitamin E, flavonoids, carotenoids, and polyphenols. So ENJOY gluten free guilt free! I like to package mine separately and we all grab them on the go...especially handy to keep in the diaper bag for a snack for mom!

Her favored position at all times - even while napping :)🍯

Blessings and happy milk making!

Goals, giggles and great things

   Well my fellow Hashi Warriors, thyroid peeps and the like....HI!

Yoga with my Finn while camping

Chica the husky was doing her own pose..downward dog, maybe :).

  It's again been too long since I've talked with you! Have no doubt that you have been on my mind as I thoroughly enjoy our little Finn girl. We feel so blessed everyday to be able to look upon her with wild fascination. We take no moment for granted, knowing that many of you wish so much for the same miracle to come into your lives. It's summertime in our part of the world so our days are filled with lots of great activities like hiking, swimming and gardening and our nights have campfires and hammocks...I love this life!

My happy birthday this year

   News from my postpartum world is HUGE....my lifestyle changes have made a tremendous impact on my hypothyroidism. I am no longer required to supplement my thyroid with medication. I'm drug free so to speak! My body is producing enough on its own! I will continue to monitor my thyroidism to see if this is long-term. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to find the root of your thyroidism whether it is hyperthyroid or hypothyroid and fix the issue. Be your own scientist. Be your own sleuth. We wouldn't have our Finn here with us if it not had been for my belief that you can in fact heal your thyroid. Especially if you are trying to conceive with little results, or have incurred several miscarriages as we did, you must get to the root of the problem. I read lots of books, like Root Cause by Dr. Izabella Wentz. Click on the link and check it out! If you'd like to know more about the changes I made, please email me-I love talking about this and helping others find their path!
   Now....back to our little Finn! What a joy! We are learning all about her - and have adjusted pretty flawlessly. We wanted her so much for so long. Our other children seem to have adjusted to her arrival as well. People have asked me if it is like starting over again with there being nearly 14 years difference between our now middle child with our youngest. It's not starting over to me. I'm still a mom and always was one. I would say I thoroughly enjoy every moment - even when she has cried solid for two hours. This time will pass and one day I will miss it. It has been an adjustment for all of us, but a welcomed one. We have two daughters, just out on their own, who come visit us more frequently to forge a relationship with their sister. It warms our hearts to see that. She started laughing last week and the little giggles bring our 14-year-old to her side every time.

Breastfeeding in the hammock!

   Most of the Hashi people I've met, are like me, they were always healthy eaters, big into fitness. That's probably because you noticed your weight fluctuated so much and you needed to stay on top of whatever was going on. My postpartum journey on that side of things has been trying....after Finn arrived, my midwife checked my abdominal muscles and I had a whopper five-inch abdominal muscle separation, also known as Diastasis recti.  Not a huge surprise since this was my fourth live birth and actually eighth pregnancy. Resting those muscles are crucial for a healthy recovery---no heavy lifting, abdominal work or engaging those muscles at all. It's a little tough at times.  It took FOREVER for it to fuse back (nearly 12 weeks) and I'm still working on complications due to the condition. My hips are continually misaligning themselves and my lower back is weakened because of it.

We can, however, finally get back into the pool after three months of diastasis recti Hell :) BRING ME MY SUPERSUIT....regardless of how much extra skin I have floating around my mid-section! Bodies come in all shapes and sizes and despite this journey, my body has really served me well. I'm breastfeeding and with my gluten free/ low dairy diet, it hasn't been hard for me to melt away. I have had to incorporate some Sunflower Lecithin for healthy fats so my milk isn't like skim milk but that's a topic for another day. In the meantime, let's get those muscles strengthened! Finn is ready to join us in the pool!

Blessings!

Living the Dream!

   2017 has been an exciting year for me! My lifestyle changes have paved the way to the birth of our rainbow baby, Finn...I no longer have to be on a synthetic thyroid and have healed my thyroid...BIG STUFF! I've had some long term goals and plans come into fruition, one of which I'm proud to blog about today .......

My Spring/Summer Curated Signature Collection for VIDA  went LIVE at about 7:00 p.m. MST! What this means is that models are wearing the accessories that I designed. I am now an accessories designer :)
I am so excited about the pieces being featured. The whole project has been amazing and one that I have been able to enjoy as I am staying at home with our daughters, Summer and Finn. The featured piece entitled Nature's Open Heart is being spotlighted on the main shop section on the VIDA website. It is quite an honor to be featured in their shop all section and something I have dreamed about since being contacted by them about displaying my artistic talents.
   This collection includes some of my acrylic artwork as well as photographs from our area and promotes the beauty of nature and highlights South Dakota living. The featured pieces are actually shots taken in one of my favorite spots in this world---our backyard in South Dakota in the USA. Nature's Open Heart  is a photograph of a native South Dakota flower with beautiful attributes....tall and proud, lightly fragrant purple flowers, food for our state insect, the bee. It is known by many names Old Settler Lilac, Skyrockets, Firework flowers to name a few. These flowers always remind me of my grandparents on both sides of my family, the Andersons and the Halls. The little purple petals bring warm memories bubbling up to the surface. The fragrance washes hugs and kisses throughout my system....warm fuzzies!

Look at our finished Look!!

I'm so proud of it!

   OK let's talk about this whole designer curated process....in one word, AMAZING! I was contacted by VIDA about possibly featuring a few pieces with their models and I jumped at the chance. From the comfort of my home, I met with my design team online. First I was given the choice of which of my products I wanted to highlight. I quickly picked my favorites and next up was picking the models....the choices were difficult. My thoughts turned toward color of hair, style of hair, the complete look-very exciting and daunting! Once that was complete, poses of the models and how to display the product was addressed. There were so many factors to think about! I strolled outside to visit with my husband and father-in-law about the many creative choices. They were knee-deep in assembling a new basketball hoop but threw some chuckles my direction as I contemplated the project. There were several times during the process that I just couldn't believe I was getting to actually do this! I think I smiled through the whole thing! The last decision to be made was the backgrounds for the models ... again, thoughts trying to wrap around the whole picture. I think our final images are a big WIN. I absolutely am thoroughly pleased and more importantly, proud of this work..
   In a few weeks, I will have some of my pieces available for purchase offline...that's right! I will have pieces on hand available! We are planning some fun social media events and we are making my presence known at small venues like our local Farmer's Market during this summer season.

   And now I proudly present my Curated collection. Click HERE please and share this collection like crazy!

   Blessings!

Enjoying the South Dakota sun with Finn & Chica

my hammock is filled with the best!

Confessions of a parenting rebel

My name is Cris and my husband

and I cosleep with our newborn.

Let's just let that sink in for a moment...we...sleep...in...the...same...bed...as...our...baby....

   In this crazy day and age in the United States, parents like us feel the necessity to keep this forbidden activity a secret from friends, family and even coworkers and neighbors. And before I get people taking gigantic steps up to their proverbial soap box, I feel I can say a few words about this subject and it's not one that I take lightly.
   I came from a family where we are the statistic..my sibling, Sabrina Jo, died of SIDS or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome at the age of six months. My parents awoke one morning to one less child breathing in this world. My parents followed all of the "guidelines" of the day. My  mom did not smoke with my sister growing in her belly. They followed all the rules. She was in her own bed. She was not too hot or too cold. My family practiced "safe" sleeping guidelines. SIDS happened to my family.
    I do not have any memories of my sister while she was alive. I was only five years old.  My memories are of how she looked in her tiny casket. How they put make-up on her face and didn't they know make-up was for adults? I remember the cold, waxy  feel of her skin and how her smell was tainted. I would later smell that familiar smell in my high school science classroom. I have memories of random sad faces. I didn't understand  how we could leave her alone in the ground.  I was terrified of angels taking the rest of my family. I learned very early on that life just  isn't fair.
   During my youth, I spent  time researching SIDS. And even into my adulthood, I keep an eye on the research to see if the scientists and doctors are making any headway. Thirty years later, there still are unanswered questions to this label. I call it a label because sometimes infant death receives the SIDS label when the death is unexplained. It is still a mystery.
   People like myself grow up physically. We meet someone and we eventually want to have a family of our own, regardless of  the intense fear. Somehow, you conquer your brain and go for it. That first year of your child's life, you are a bundle of nerves. You read up on all the guidelines for sleeping, look at any new research, some of us pray.
   We sleep with our newborn and I'm here to say that I'm proud that I do. Our Finn has her own bed on our bed...it's called a sleep nest. I learned of this nifty little piece while looking into other countries like Finland and how they handle their infants. We aren't the only country that has babies. There is a whole great world out there that has successful child rearing going on. According to the National Center for Education for Maternal and Child Health at Georgetown University,  compared to rates in other developed countries, the U.S. SIDS rate remains high. For example, in 2005, the U.S. rate ranked second highest (after New Zealand) among 13 countries in a research study by Fern Hauck and Kawai Tanabe. The lowest SIDS rates among these countries were in the Netherlands and Japan. And according to James J. McKenna, PhD, "Most cultures that routinely practice cosleeping, in any form, have very rare instances of SIDS. SIDS occurrences are among the lowest in the world in Hong Kong, where cosleeping is extremely common".
   There are safe ways to sleep with your infant, so that people like myself, can sleep. But sadly, there are few resources in America where parents can find good information. A big push of governmental offices is to push families into not having a hands on approach to sleeping. We just received a parcel through the postal mail from our state's Governor that included several pamphlets and a child's book about safe sleeping including sleeping alone in the crib. My husband and I agreed that we wanted to be safely close to our little miracle all of the time. We've been through so much and with our history of miscarriages and my own history with SIDS, we looked into all options.

Safe Ways To Cosleep

   According to the United Kingdom's The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE), there are some safety guidelines to follow.

• Keep your baby cool by using sheets and blankets rather than a duvet.
• Ensure bedding does not cover your baby’s face or head.
• Always put your baby to sleep on their back rather than their front or side.
• Babies don’t need a pillow until they are at least a year old. They should also be kept away from parents' pillows.
• Never risk falling asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. If you’re feeling really tired and think you may fall asleep with your baby while feeding or cuddling them on a sofa or armchair, move to a bed (keeping in mind the safety guidelines above) or, if possible, ask your partner, friend or family member to look after them while you get some rest. 

For more indepth research and tips on cosleeping, click here.

   We enjoy cosleeping. She practically has her own half of our bed and we enjoy ours -my husband and I love to 'sleep pile'--- sleep in a pile. :) We like to cuddle together and listen to her breathing, dreaming and laughing in her sleep right next to us. There is a loving touch from one of us as soon as she utters a noise. I can groggily breastfeed our baby from the comfort of our bed and maybe catch a few zzz's afterwards before we start our exciting days. Finn enjoys her nest---sleeping and then waking up and  looking  around the room in which she was born. There is nothing more natural to us. And honestly, I think many of the people we know cosleep at some point of their infant's life....they are just closet cosleepers.

We cosleep - Hear Our ROAR!

Surviving postpartum with your thyroid monster

   AAAAHHHH the little bundle you've been waiting for has arrived!

Hopefully, you got to have the amazing birth experience you have been striving for like we did! Our journey that led with our Finn in our arms was miraculous, beautiful and soul quenching.....and then we spent our recovery time monitoring not only my recovery but prepping for the probable thyroid issues that moms with hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism have to endure after bringing a life into the world. Thyroid issues..it is a flurry of symptoms that can hit at any moment when your hormones fluctuate severely like they do after you have a baby. It can't be avoided. The best you can do is prepare for it by pre adjusting your medication while you are recovering from labor and delivery and following your recovery directions to every detail. Pay attention to your body and how it feels. Rest ALOT and eat properly. Continue to take your supplements. I cannot express how important it is to stay off your feet. After two weeks, even one event will deplete your energy levels and you know what? That's perfectly fine and to b expected. Your energy will eventually return! Just spend time enjoying your little wonderful miracle!

       I cannot thank my husband and my family enough for taking such good care of me during my recovery. My husband was by my side every hour for the days he was absent from work, changing Finn and allowing me to adhere to my week long bedrest mandate ordered by our midwife. My mom filled our pantry and fridgerator/freezer with easy to make meals and family favorites so my husband and daughter could handle mealtimes with ease. We were so blessed with her foresight for that....we had food for weeks! Our daughter kept up with the household chores. My father-in-law, who happens too live next door, made himself available when my husband had to return to work for any small requests that might arise. We are so blessed! It took me a good two weeks for my symptoms to level out. The brain fog lifted, the rapid heartbeat, the added profuse sweating, the insomnia finally left. The blues didn't take hold like they can with thyroid people....Smiles were all around our little house!

  When your thyroid hormone wildly fluctuates from delivery, it can swing from hypothyroid, which means your thyroid isn't making enough hormone and you supplement that, to hyperthyroid, which means you have too much thyroid hormone in your system. Symptoms can range from headaches to rapid heart rate, inability to handle heat, severe sweating, dehydration, vision changes, swollen eye lids, fatigue, insomnia, joint pain and much more. Not only are you recovering from the pregnancy, you are dealing with these symptoms all while adjusting to supplying milk to your wee one too.
   In severe cases, a thyroid storm can occur which can be fatal in adults. If you have any of the following symptoms, please contact your midwife or obstetrician immediately.

• A very high fever of 100 degrees to as high as 106 degrees.
• A very high heart rate, which can be as high as 200 beats per minute (BPM). 
• Palpitations, chest pain, and shortness of breath.
• High blood pressure.
• Confusion, delirium, and even psychosis.
• Extreme physical and muscle weakness
• Extreme fatigue and exhaustion.
• Extreme restlessness, nervousness, and mood swings.
• Exaggerated reflexes, especially in knee and ankle areas.
• Difficulty breathing.
• Nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea.
• Profuse sweating or dehydration.
• Stupor or coma

Please take care of yourself as you recover from your miraculous journey! Blessings from our family to you!

How our pregnancy journey became magical

   Hey kids from around the world....it's been a while since I've checked in or updates and we just had so many decisions to make on a day to day basis that I just didn't know how to feel about things.
   I'm going to start by saying I have the greatest amount of respect and adoration for my husband, best friend and partner. We made memories that nobody will understand or can even fathom and connect with....he is my breath. Period.
 And now............drum roll .........

Presenting our rainbow girl

Finn Bree Ness

Born March 4, 2017

4:30 PM

in the comfort of our home

   We had quite a journey that turned from truly feeling  terrifying to absolutely magical. From December onward, my husband  took it upon himself to be my most important resource, he helped me and agonized with me.  He learned how to give prenatal massages and learned Doula techniques to help me on a daily basis to turn the baby, keep the baby in the correct birthing position and things that helped me to breath and exist. We ended up having an extra amount of fluid that sent me to the emergency room twice with contractions....information we learned with our first visit with our midwife after she studied my medical records.  We had not been seeing eye to eye with our ob doctor and many times would get zero answers from her or her office.  After a terrifying visit at our local  Emergency Room the beginning of February we began to think outside of the box. I just didn't feel safe under the supervision of my doctor and our guts were telling us to do everything in our power to get away from that situation. It was late in the game for that so options in the United States are limited thanks to our laws. I was still under the care of my chiropractor and that office kept a nice eye of us while we made our decisions.
   Outside of the box in rural United States looks like, hmmm everybody goes to the hospital to have their babies, so any deviation from an OB or even a hospital is a little extreme in some people's eyes. My friend suggested a midwife for us. After researching that option, we both knew that was exactly the kind of care that I needed. I am a hands-on, take charge of my health kind of girl. I do not like too much medical intervention, I believe in myself and the power and might of my body. With all  three of daughters, I had natural childbirths, of which Clayton witnessed none.  Even this late in the game, at 35 weeks, this might still be an option. My parents were behind our decision 100 percent...they knew how afraid we both, and basically our children as well, of the care we were receiving.  We were terrified. I had been housebound since November and this journey was not a fun or enjoyable experience.
   We met our beloved midwife on a sunny afternoon in the comforts of our home, my husband donning his lazy sweatpants and slippers and me mounted and affixed on my birthing ball set up in our living room. I was so uncomfortable and had been for months, this was usually where I was found. She meticulously scanned my medical records for any indication that I would NOT be a good candidate for home birthing. After all, the midwife does not want to nor will be supervising  a candidate that is not within her guideline levels or comfort levels. A midwife should be certified and have an extensive background in nursing and child birthing.
    People in the medical profession always are astounded with my vital signs...they are always much better than even people that are in their 20s. Medically speaking I was the perfect candidate for home birth. It was also noted in my medical records that I had excess amniotic fluid, which could impede our baby connecting with the birthing canal, I was being kept hyperthyroid instead of inside my thyroid guidelines and that the actual due date of our little one was March 7, not the 12th as the ob office  continually told us. We were in the one week window to have a full term baby!
   We began talking about the why we wanted this and what we expected from this experience. My husband simply said he wanted his wife to survive and the baby as well. She smiled and gave a chuckle and said that nobody would be dying on her watch. She then suggested I turn toward the exercises on spinningbabies.com to expand my hips since I was extremely fit going into this pregnancy....and I was going to kind of pay for that with super tight ligaments and joints that were not "wet" or flexible. These moves I could have been doing for months in preparation but we didn't know this in time. Time was of the essence. We all decided this was going to be a great union for us and make the birth of our baby a true once in a lifetime experience for us. I really wanted this experience to be different from my other births...always scary, always felt like a ticking time bomb and I really missed my old OB. I had no idea how "midwifery" he was until now.
   Our decision to birth at home was met with a wide range of  mixed emotions from elation to pure terror from those closest to us. Summer, who still resides at home with us, was behind us but unsure of how this whole home birth "thing" was going to go down. She spent much of her time watching me and waiting for the scary event to occur. When it finally transpired, she had taken a holiday to my parents home saying, "Mom, you do not know how exhausting it is to watch you and wait for the baby. I'm going on a break!" Our oldest daughter, Keira, said she was glad we were being safe about this whole thing and Sydnie expressed how weird this idea was and she hadn't heard of anyone else doing this...complete teenage response. My mother-in-law was very nervous about this plan and a close cousin thought we might be making a possibly deadly  mistake. Otherwise, our close circle held smiles for us as and reassured us that we needed to go with our gut feeling as we closed in on our adventure.
   We had lots to do. We spent the next days gathering the needed supplies for home birthing...things like towels, Kleenex, garbage bags, hydrogen peroxide and witch hazel. We began learning all we could about what the future held for us, what wanted and needed out of this experience. During our daily walks, we would spend time wondering when this event would happen. We finally felt like we were in the lead of this experience.
   Because I was so tight, I had hard pre labor contractions that would come and go. We ended up having these for a few weeks as I did the required things to open my hips and relax my round ligaments. We owe a ton of gratitude to Clayton's boss and coworkers who were also on call for weeks as we waited for our natural childbirth to begin. Anybody out there who has done it, knows the true art of patience. Natural childbirth starts and stops to give both momma and baby the breaks they need to endure the big journey. We also are indebted to my friends and family who would text me daily so I wasn't going crazy while I basically waited for Finn to tell us when it was time. My asthma made it impossible some days to even hold a verbal conversation. I love you, my village people.
    Now onto the big event...................
   I had been coming off of a two day stretch of contractions followed by a good day of rest and awoke to a deep pressure feeling and the baby had again dropped further into placement of the birthing canal. But, we've been here before so who knew what the day held for us. The sun was shining and I was wishing I was more mobile to enjoy such days in the winter. I started the day with stretches to help me get mobile and make myself feel good. Clayton was tired...tired of this seemingly endless cycle and his baby was never going to reveal and his worst nightmare would happen of losing both momma and child.
   "Well what's going on today," he asked me. I told him I wasn't sure but I wasn't quite feeling good. He ran out to do some errands and contractions started so I put on my favorite playlist of Ed Sheeran and began dancing in the living room. While he was gone, I started getting harder ones. As soon as he opened the door, he joined me on the dance floor of our living room being my perfect and entertaining dance partner. Slow dancing to Ed Sheeran's "I See Fire" and shaking it out to "Fresh Eyes" by Andy Grammer will forever  take me back to this time. Soon Clayton again sent out the alert to his work that maybe it was happening. "Should I get a hold of Cassie (our midwife)," he asked. I thought yes we should. Before I knew it, I had gone to our room to relax and keep focused on what would be happening in the next few hours. Cassie soon appeared with her bag and a smile on her face. Our contractions were stronger requiring more focus. I used my Monet print as a focal point...it had a big letter O on it that reminded me to relax and open to bring our baby into this world. I met every contraction with the same outlook in mind and the minutes blended. All I could hear were Clayton's words of encouragements, our baby's heartbeat when Cassie would listen and make sure no emergencies were unfolding  and Cassie telling me how amazing I was doing and how strong I was. Each wave of intensity brought us closer to seeing our little one.  I could feel our baby working within my body and squirming around inside of me. I could feel the unseasonably warm breeze from our open bedroom window...that was perfect for me.
   The letter O was my focus and half way through a contraction, my bag of waters broke and the intensity shot up by 1000 percent. I remember telling them my water broke...which is laughable now because I had excess so everyone heard the big popping sound. Each high intensity wave rolled into the next without breaks. That's how my body rolls. I was on my hands and knees and then back on my side. Pushing...pushing....the urge to do such an act is overwhelming and besides a few syllables, that is all you can simply focus on. Soon I could hear Cassie and Clayton talking about seeing our baby's head....FINALLY THANK THE GODS! Clayton really cheered me on and I could hear Cassie and another voice (her assistant had arrived just in time) telling me to really push because our baby was ready to see us and reminding me of how strong I am.

   This delivery I was in every moment. Previously, I would have out of body experiences that I could describe to people it was as if I was hovering over my body. I really wanted to be present for this birth. I wanted to take it all in. Because of my body's position, I couldn't see her come into our world immediately, but within a second I saw the little body of the person I had shared a space with for 39 weeks and 4 days. I thanked Clayton who
had been my doula, my coach and I learned had been the midwife's assistant because our baby had arrived in two hours and 10 minutes from when the midwife arrived. Our active labor had rushed by and her assistant arrived about 10 minutes before Finn came into our world.

   Finn was on my chest immediately and we waited for the placenta to arrive. The placenta was placed in a bowl beside us, still nourishing Finn and Clayton took his position beside us on the bed and the visitors began packing up their things from the downstairs. I asked him questions and Clayton told me his version of the miracle that we had just been a part of. We laughed, we cried, we marveled and held this miracle that we had waited and waited to meet. After about 20 minutes, Cassie returned again to take our vitals and to help Clayton cut the cord. We stayed covered up skin to skin and took all the features of our little one in and just came into the realization of what we had done that Saturday afternoon in March.
   The assistant came in and introduced herself to me because I was completely preoccupied when she arrived. She thanked me for allowing her to be a part of our birth experience and also gave me a personal thank you. She has seven years between her children and is expecting in May. She had been second guessing if she was strong enough for this and after seeing me with a 13 year gap between our daughter Summer and Finn, she was inspired. Haha I'm glad I could give her some piece of mind. The female body is such an amazing thing.

   After more time, Cassie came back in to get my vitals and check my bleeding. It was time for Finn to be measured and weighed as well as be examined fully, receive her vitamin K shot and get the antibiotic eye cream. Still really not knowing the time, I can tell you it had become dark and I watched the city lights twinkle in my window.

   After Finn was completely examined, and I was checked again, our beloved midwife left us with instructions and went on her way. We were left in the comforts of our home surrounded by our dogs and cats and after a few hours big sisters arrived to meet their small counterpart. We ordered pizza and tried to sleep as we marveled at the miracle we had just experienced.

Blessings!

Life can be ironic

  Hey everybody!

   We are in the third trimester and it's been a while since I've posted...I was reminded by our teenager that she hasn't been able to read anything about us for a while and it was time. There has been something come up it seemingly daily and it's all we can do to just buckle down and deal.

Let me break it down for you....

Right around the beginning of December, I began cramping, spotting...for those of you that has miscarried before, I don't have to tell you how breathless that makes you feel as you try to figure out what is going on. The baby had noticeably dropped and we were in our doctor's office the very day. After being poked and prodded and questioned, it was decided that I needed to stay off my feet a little more. I had to say good-bye to my job at the brewery for a while. The spotting immediately cleared up and we adjusted to me being at home all the time. I'm quite a busy individual so it has been an adjustment! We didn't know it at the time, but I was headed into anemia, if not already there.
   As we were gearing up for the holidays ahead, my grandpa after months of being in and out of an ill state, took a turn. Thankfully, the regional  hospital is  in our neighborhood and we made frequent use of him being within five minutes of our house. He was a great spirits the last few days we saw him....little did we know our family would be assembling the following week for his bedside vigil into the next realm. We were very close with him and cleaned his house, bought his supplies and just made sure he was taken care of before we moved away from our hometown four years ago. We have so  many fond memories of that wonderful man and made great use of his time while we lived near him.

   The week of his dying ritual as the family began assembling, the weather here got extremely cold. I was in and out of the doctor's office and it was determined my troubles were a combination of being anemic and the wrathful return of my asthma. I hadn't been on an inhaler in over a decade! I had days and days of being winded crossing the room and really not being able to sleep due to feeling like I couldn't breath. Not a great time to get emotional...it was quite a balancing act to ensure my health and the health of our little one would endure. It was difficult even holding a conversation, I was so winded. I tried to comfort our daughters as much as I could and my husband did his best to convey the messages I felt were key in this situation...he had a wonderfully good life and he has been ready to move onto the next stage. There were times I couldn't even get an updated text from my family without bursting into a wet face.  A time in my life I won't soon forget. Trying to remain calm and level headed in such a sad time was so difficult...especially with pregnancy hormones raging through my system. I simply tried to focus on the positive in all around me and my little family was such a big help. Without asking, my husband's shoulder and chest were instantly there to bury my face into whenever the moment hit me...which was quite often. I'm a silent crier, so much of my cues are just simply watching---especially since I had no extra breath to tell tall tales or even convey the sorrow I was feeling.
   My family really worried about the funeral and the timing of my Grandpa's passing. Life can be quite ironic. I gave birth to our first born, Keira, the day after my other Grandpa's funeral. I had to endure his death in an extremely pregnant state. The timing is a little different here, but I will have endured my other Grandpa's death before the birth of our last child. My parents worried preterm labor was eminent. The doctors have had us in and out of their offices lots...three unscheduled appointments and probably counting! Honestly, it's a great sense of relief for us. We know our little is doing spectacular.
   Which brings me to one of the new experiences we've had....the non-stress test. This was given in our doctor's office after I had to call in because we were having too many contractions and after not sleeping in about 48 hours. They put two sensors on your belly - one on the baby's heartbeat, and one on your uterus to monitor for contractions. They also give you a little button to push whenever you feel your baby move. Our baby performed beautifully for the test. There was no stress when my contractions would come. Great news! Also my cervix hasn't changed so it was another good sign that things are going the way they need to. The only one uncomfortable in the situation was me and it turns out I had a case of the flu along with my symptoms so it was no wonder I was uncomfortable and having some preterm conditions.
   Our latest ultrasound showed the Wee Ness was roughly four pounds and one ounce last week. Each week brings us closer to getting to see our little miracle. With having to be homebound and then bed bound a few days to get on top of hydration and contractions, we already know so much about her/him. The sleep schedule is very apparent and he/she has very personal interactions with each member of our household.
Before I got really sick, I made a few items for us to put in our hospital bag...matching labor gear and a Wonder Woman nursing gown!

   Now that my anemia seems to be heading in the right direction and my asthma is controlled, I plan on having a little more energy to keep things updates on here :)
Blessings all!