Survival of the Flares: Some people make it, some don't

"To  be Jedi is to face the truth, and choose. Give off light, or darkness, Padawan. Be a candle or the night."---Yoda, Jedi Knight of Star Wars

Photo by Cris Ness

"Facing Hashimoto's the Ness Way"

Copyrighted 2015

   I love my job!  I'm a server and bartender in a bustling brewery...what could be better?! I love the people  I meet and the ones I stand along side, grinding the shift, to make their dreams come true. Last night, I shared a story with a coworker about a four-year-old boy in my section that recognized me when I approached the table. He proclaimed,"Hey I've seen you run!...I've seen you run by my house!" I told my coworker it was great to hear because I've really had to taper back my activities. I talked about trying to get on top of my "flares" through healing from the inside out and it can take months to begin to see or feel results.He looked puzzled and asked what's wrong with me. He said he has never noticed anything...that  I am one of the most vibrant and positive people he's ever met. After I explain my autoimmune conditions, he smiled and said I am a shining example for people. I never complain and I'm always radiating positivity. I guess I'm a candle :)Thank you, Padawan Learner Conger😊
   Autoimmune Flares: A gigantic, enormous pain-in-the-booty obstacle when a person is trying live a life worth living! With autoimmune conditions, like fibromyalgia or Hashimoto's, outside factors like stress or a even a simple viral infection will start a  domino effect towards a life jolting medical condition called a flare.  And just what is a flare? Flares affect each individual differently. For me, a flare has physical and psychological aspects. Physically, every joint including my toe joints ache and is inflamed. Simply rising out of bed feels like that time you might remember as having the worst flu of your life. Walking to the bathroom deserves a medal of sorts made of glittering gold. Then there is the fatigue...it's not to be confused with tired. Tired means you can sleep and feel refreshed. Fatigue is sleeping 20 hours and when you wake you are still in the middle of a fog land. You feel as exhausted as when you went to bed. Now add in some hellish anxiety that haunts your waking moments and also my slumber can be filled with INTENSE night terrors due to high anxiety present add in some severe sweating issues while sleeping and that's MY flare. Flares can be this intense lasting for days. I've literally had 24 hour periods where the only time I've been up among the living is for my four hour work shift.

   My last flare was debilitating and it really frightened my family. It brought forth the questions from our kids like, "Mom, can what you have make you die?" I'm always honest. With a brave smile, I said "yes it can, but I'm not going anywhere!" Dealing with a flare leaves little time for relationships with others. My main priority has got to be me and mine. My true friends and family whole heartedly understand this.

  Photo by Cris Ness

"Luna Magic"

Copyrighted 2015

    The positive thing I can say about a flare is that it really takes the hard work out of finding out who really loves you and who is just using you. My friends all know me. They are confident in our relationship that  I'm not blowing them off. When I've made plans and end up canceling (which has had to happen more than a few times) because I don't feel well, I get texts back saying,"hey I'm sorry! If you need me to do anything, I'm your lady!" I'm super lucky I've surrounded myself with these kind of people. Of course, I rarely take them up on it, but having the offer is awesome!
   On this Hashimoto's journey we are on, I've met new people that I really am drawn to but again at this moment in time, I have no extra energy to develop a relationship. If those people are meant to be in my life, they will still be there when I am finished healing myself up.
   Some of my other friends haven't survived the flares. Those are the people that need to see a sick person as proof of their personal doctor's note. My absence doesn't raise inquiries besides loathing thoughts of me not being able to accommodate them in some way. I hear phrases like "You are always sick!" ...yeah imagine how my family feels...or how I do! "You haven't been out or even to my house in months!" ....my response is usually, "You are right. I've had enough energy lately to scale back a few hours at my work so I could be a wife and mom and do things with them. Yes
I haven't been well enough to make time for other things."

•  Hashimoto's is a mostly invisible illness...It's a very private battle fought within yourself. Stress is a big trigger. When I'm collecting negative guff for not being able to make appearances at other people's children's ball games, fundraisers or even to host a sleepover, I keep my flare survival in mind. I become my own Jedi Master. Nobody is going to extinguish my candle of positivity and hope by holding me captive in their proverbial darkness.

1. My family and myself come first. Period. Nobody is going to guilt me into taking on extra duties for them. I'm certainly worth more than that.
2. Flares happen. A flare happens even when you are healing. Stay the course and do what you need to do to survive your flare.
3. Cuddles are worth a million dollars. My husband and kids are championship material when it comes to cuddling. I may not have the energy at this moment to play badminton, but I sure am open to cuddles and a family movie!
4. Keep stress at bay. You can't change people's opinion if you are really sick. Those who truly love you, won't make you prove it. And if they want you to, then I guess they are going to have to wait until you feel up to filling their demands...which for me is probably never. I mean, when I really could've used a helping hand with helping out with my family---where were they?! Not looking any further than their silly demands.
5. Enjoy the simple in every day. Allow yourself to say no to others. You are worth it! Every day is a good day sprinkled with opportunities to make it grand. Be light. Be a candle. When you are down, reread your favorite book, look through the window and watch a feathered friend, indulge in celebrating you by embracing who you are.

   I've spent my healing time focusing on my family, celebrating our moments and truly feeling blessed with everyone who has kept in touch with me while I heal. Those people are my tribe, my clan, my village and I love each and every one of them...including my online friends that I might have never laid eyes on but have taken a liking to me and my shenanigans.

May Shenanigans Always Be With You and Within You.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Really, I am a fierce WARRIOR!!!

   I've always been an active person...swimming, yoga, running 10k, teaching cardio and water yoga classes, volunteering at local schools in the running department...yes I'm active. Many times I would be contacted via online or text to give someone the push needed to get off the couch and I will gladly do it! After all, I needed to work out that day too...I treated every day as a new exciting chapter and I included exercise as part of my daily ritual. It kept my mood light, I felt good about myself and I knew those pesky pounds would stay away! My scale could be two pounds light or heavy depending on the hour, so despite the aches and pains, I thought a girl has to do what a girl has to do! I needed to be a shining example to our daughters, coworkers and family...fitness is where it's at! Below is daughter Sydnie and I doing partner yoga at one of our favorite lakes where we live. The next shot is me, 40 years old, at the aquatic managment position I held for 10 years.

   Since my Hashimoto's diagnosis in the beginning of 2016, I've spent much of my time and energy on learning how to deal with this autoimmune condition. I am finally ready to admit I have chronic pain with my condition. My usual routine of dealing with this was through yoga, spiritual teachings and absolutely no medication. I never lined up for over-the-counter remedies. I always believed mind over matter. Eventually, I would become so run down, I might be laid up in bed for three days, possibly put on anxiety medication and told to alleviate stress. Soon, I would pick myself back up and start my daily rituals again.
   Chronic pain is not something you'll hear me talk about much. I keep my aches and pains to myself.  My philosophy is that whining about it will do nobody in my life any good and that includes me. Once I've admitted the many, many ways I hurt, my awesome family can now recognize the signs of me having a "bad" day....slightly puffy eyes, moving just a half step slower than my regular speeding. People at work might ask me if I have got enough sleep because I look tired. When I hear these things, that means it's time for me to identify what's going on to stay on top of my Hashimoto's.

   This is me and my fierce and feisty, sweet and loving girl, Chica, cuddling and resting like I sometimes need to. See my thyroid eyes ;)
  I battle inflammation in my joints daily. I control the inflammation with a morning cocktail! No I'm not binging alcohol but a lovingly mixed drink of 4 oz. Orange juice, 1 tsp turmeric powder, 1/8 tsp cream of tartar, 1/8 tsp pink sea salt, 1/8 tsp black pepper...this is a refreshing treat for my adrenal glands and hits my inflamed joints! Depending on the day, I may indulge in this amazing wonder drink up to three times a day. Incorporating turmeric in my body has changed my life! Last month, I swam the butterfly stroke for 20 minutes and my shoulders haven't been able to perform that stroke in a decade!
   Experts are finding that although exercise is very important for Hashimoto's people, it is also important to allow the down time for your body to heal. With a very anxious, worried mind and a rather large gulp, I cut back my workouts to 2 to 3 times per week. I watched and I waited. With the extra time that I normally devoted to myself, I continued to center on me by resting and researching while I did it. I've invested lots of my time to healing my immune system through autoimmune dietary changes and incorporating vitamin and mineral supplements to balance my systems.
   Results aren't immediate, and once you've started on the Hashimoto's road, you'll quickly discover results are seen in minimum 6 weeks to 3 months. Change is slow. I try to remember I didn't get this way overnight. My family supports my healing process. They see many many more good days happening. There's no shame in becoming the champion cuddle warrior to help speed the process of healing from the inside out....while I daydream of participating in my private ironman competition.

Cleansing The Things In Me...parasites, flukes and candida OH MY!

"Well honey, at least they aren't in you anymore," my perfectly loving husband said to me as he squeezed the wounded me that was literally curled up in a ball in the middle of the floor after my last bathroom visit.   
We take lots of things for granted living in a nice and tidy first world country like the United States. Only until recent years, has this country felt the real life crunch of a  water shortage like in California or the problems of toxic fish population making the way into the food production lines of companies and on the shelves of the supermarkets. We can control the temperatures of our homes with technology that rides around in our pockets and purses, chat with someone across the country 24/7 and much of the population can afford to buy delectable drinks for $6 -12 ounces of liquid sweet yumminess. We have a plethora of medications that can fix anything from acne to fungus infections to various strains of cancer. We are pretty safe and sound.
   My Hashimoto's journey has led on a knowledge and health pilgrimage. I delegate a number of minutes daily to research, performing health tasks and basic time for assessing how I feel (if I have any new symptoms, feel ill in any way, just being extremely conscious of how I feel). I do this everyday....because I need to be the navigator of my own health. It assists me in being able to put others first at all other times of the day so I can be the best wife and the best mom and the best friend to people in my life.
   Now....onto the topic of today's lesson: THE PARASITIC CLEANSE. Throughout much of my research, I would encounter a few mentions of the parasitic cleanse and quickly bypass it.....because Oh Em Gee I didn't even want to think about it and our food supply isn't bad here anyways, I doubt this is even possible. Every time I ran upon the subject, I opened my cracked eye just a wee bit more and read a few more words. Finally, I came to terms that it was possible that I could be hosting a parasitic discoteque complete with flukes and protozoa and with autoimmune conditions like Hashimoto's, fibromyalgia and those that have contracted the Epstein Barr virus are at a higher risk of being a host to the creepy crawlies. I took some big gulps and looked into ways to "detox my system"  ( preferable way of talking about this thing called a parasitic cleanse).
   I pride myself on not taking a lot of drugs on the market --- or off the market for that matter. I really don't even enjoy taking Ibuprofen or cold medicine. I'm a nature gal what can I say. This journey has had me popping more pills that people stumbling onto an unmanned bubble wrap factory filled to capacity. So, needless to say, it was crucial that I find a way to detox my body without polluting it more with man-made chemicals. I deworm my dogs with Guinness
stout. And of course, they LOVE that! I would love that too if I wasn't gluten intolerant and I'm not sure it's tough enough to work on with humans, but my husband has volunteered to be the Guinness pig....get it---Guinness....
   Oil  of Oregano in capsule is the miracle drug of my choice for this job! It's efficient, it's economical, it's natural. It kills everything in its' path including any little fungus infections -- which I had been battling a skin infection on and off for months. It does kill any bacteria both good and bad which is why I've included a broad spectrum probiotic in my line up as well to replenish the good guys.  I've also discovered on my journey that keeping a health journal is essential to keeping tabs on your treatment...it has come in aid to me numerous times when visiting with my healthcare team to me trying my little science experiments on myself and seeing if what I am trying works or makes me feel worse. I'm a complete science nerd so this fits all my nerdy desires.
   I did notice after the second dose, I felt a few aches and pains. I was still experiencing headaches, joint inflammation and muscle soreness. The dosage I followed suggested up to 200 mg per day. I started with 50 mg for three days just to see and upped it when things completely got real. After the dosage was more potent, I could feel movement, I could see real results. And those little guys are abandoning ship any which way they can...just remember that your skin is also an organ of your body.  I will not go into detail here, just know that you can google images of those critters and yeah----I had one of the best parasite parties going on in my body temple....and I worship myself like nobody's business. I love me...and apparently so did they because I had Candida, tapeworms, egg sacks, flukes and hook worms all living within my sacred walls! Mortified cannot even begin to describe my mental wellness at this point.
   My advice to anyone that has had these symptoms, is to not be afraid and just face the possibility that you might be a host. Contact your physician and get tested if you feel the need. Especially if you are in the high risk category (like having autoimmune conditions, being hypothyroid or hyperthyroid, have had EBV.)
I went along with the oil of oregano method because even if I didn't have anything, it wouldn't hurt me having that going in my system. Contact your physician, chiropractor, healthcare provider if you suspect a parasitic infestation, be proactive! I'm not a doctor of any sorts but knowledge is power so get yourself aware.
Continue the oil of oregano for 4-6 weeks and then maybe put this on your calendar for every year. I'm such a control Nazi about things that I might just go ahead and do this in the fall too---time will tell. I know I'll never ever let myself be blind to the fact that I might get worms every now and then thanks to my autoimmune conditions. And that's just how I roll.

The magic of answers---Hashimoto's and Thyroidism

   Finally! 2016 is really proving itself....I have Hashimoto's and now that I am on a synthetic thyroid hormone, I also am classified as hypothyroid.  It might sound crazy scary, but what my family and I have  had to endure has been nothing short of a neverending nightmare. I've gone to countless doctors, physicians, and  specialists  over the years. I became an extreme health nut and exercise guru. I was diagnosed anemic, having IBS, prescribed anti-depressants at one time or another, was told "it was all in your head so I think it's stress induced". At one point, I developed so many allergies I had to give myself three shots a week for a few years. I finally quit going to the doctor and just tried to be as healthy as I could be....but it quit working and I was gaining symptoms left and right. Over the course of my adulthood, I've had four miscarriages...I've lost four babies. And we can't explain how truly fortunate  we are to have the precious three girls we get to enjoy as they giggle, cry, love, live and grow.   
   It has been several months since I've had the energy to even attempt to remember where this  blog was...and I wish I was joking. Brain fog....B-R-A-I-N--F-O-G had me in it's grips for months after we lost our last baby in July 2015. Not only was I mildly depressed from yet another loss,  it took quite a few months to get my synthetic thyroid dosage correct, which isn't uncommon for my fellow Hashi sufferers. The purpose of this blog originally was for miscarriage awareness and honestly it was an easy way for us to communicate with family and friends on a grander about how we were doing with loss like this. After I got pointed in certain directions with my health, I took charge of my health care...I customized and ordered my own lab tests through a wonderful website that goes through a local testing facility like LabCorp. After taking charge, I decided that I needed to pick up this blog again for all those moms and dads out there, all the siblings of lost babies who are being affected every day, every year with undiagnosed thyroid issues.
   With our last baby, we felt pretty positive that it couldn't possible happen again...I was healthier (or so I thought) than I had been in a long time. I had made some changes to my life and my doctor had found that my thyroid was the reason for this miscarriage this time. We just needed to get my thyroid number where it needed to be. I felt better within two days but not all my symptoms vanished and lots of them began appearing again after leaving.  I had severe joint pain going on, headaches, my vision was changing constantly, racing heart patterns to low blood pressure, hair loss from hell (it was sticking to the walls and ceiling every time I blew it dry), my eyebrows became half brows, my skin was dry and bleeding, feeling cold and seriously did I mention I was cold....shall I go on??? ....My weight literally could have a three pound difference within a one day period, I was sleeping all the time, night terrors (I can't remember having a good dream in my life honestly until I fixed a few things), bleeding gums, random patches of skin fungus, ringing ears that turned into "What? WHAT?!" I could barely hear things....OK enough about me LOL.
   More research was required.  My customized tests revealed a positive test for antibodies and that led me on the change of a lifetime....GOING GLUTEN FREE!!  In the Western world, this "diet"  isn't for the faint hearted. There were withdrawals that lasted over a month. People with Hashimoto's have bodies that recognize that little wheat protein and use it like heroin, you also get confused and attack yourself! You binge, you need that feeling. I'm so lucky my family thinks the world of me...I was a MONSTER!
   I also need to mention I relied on my chiropractor and therapeutic massage therapist for this big turn around as well. Both of them helped me rid myself of toxins, stress, joint inflammation and just overall as a person trying to not feel defeated. They listened and we worked as a team to help  me feel empowered and on the road to better health. They also gave me ideas or leads on things to research like vitamins and supplements my body might be lacking with autoimmune diseases. In fact, at my last appointment, the two of them were taking notes from me about things that have worked  so they could spread messages to a few of their other patients exhibiting the same symptoms I was having.  I've spent hours and hours researching, and sometimes my husband can't believe all the work I've put into finding out the answers.  In the end, I AM WORTH IT and that's all there is to it! :)
Cheers!